8:04 pm My day was good and I feel so much better. I had my last language class. We have a test tomorrow and I am not ready. Oh well. Then this afternoon, I led the session on teaching, it went really well. We had 2 guest speakers, one Kudjo an RPCV now working here and a guy with a massive mullet and only 4 fingers on one hand. He was awesome, very inspirational.
We are going to Mantuto on Thursday now...
Monday, September 6, 2010
September 5, 2005
I made it through the night, barely. I really hate being sick
I am so confused about my decision, to go home or stay. I know I could be here for 2 years but I really don’t think I would be happy. I. I don’t want to sit on my ass for 2 years. I know change is slow, I just don’t know what to do. I ham hoping that when I go to visit, I will get a feeling, one way or the other but I am afraid I won’t. Now that I am not as emotional, I know I could do it, bt I just don’t think this is what I want with my life. I am coming home. I feel good about the decision. No more over analyzing it. That when I get in trouble and upset.
I feel a little better now but I hate trying to sleep. Today we had language and then a stupid tech session on our 100 day plan. Since I have not been to my site or even think I am staying I really didn’t pay attention. Then Barry selects me to present how to teach to the class tomorrow. So much for preparation...
Oh and volunteer Eric (the one getting married on Friday) came. Hearing him speak kinda confirmed that I don’t want to be here. He talked about how he just sat for 6 months doing nothing-not that he didn’t try but nobody wants to doing anything around here. I really don’t want that-shit, I just don’t know what to do. They are going to take me to Manatuto on Wednesday so I guess I will see then.
I know I have said it so many times already, I can do this, I just don’t want to. I don’t see myself here and happy. I honestly don’t know where I see myself but it isn’t here and it isn’t “working” for Peace Corps. I know at one point I wanted this experience but I really don’t anymore. I almost didn’t come here but I had to try it, I had to test it for myself to know otherwise I would regret it every day because I wouldn’t know what it was like, now I know. I remember talking to Aaron about not coming and he said that out motivations for doing something change well I think is what happened.
I really need to talk to Bill. I can’t just keep writing in circles, it doesn’t get me anywhere.
I am so confused about my decision, to go home or stay. I know I could be here for 2 years but I really don’t think I would be happy. I. I don’t want to sit on my ass for 2 years. I know change is slow, I just don’t know what to do. I ham hoping that when I go to visit, I will get a feeling, one way or the other but I am afraid I won’t. Now that I am not as emotional, I know I could do it, bt I just don’t think this is what I want with my life. I am coming home. I feel good about the decision. No more over analyzing it. That when I get in trouble and upset.
I feel a little better now but I hate trying to sleep. Today we had language and then a stupid tech session on our 100 day plan. Since I have not been to my site or even think I am staying I really didn’t pay attention. Then Barry selects me to present how to teach to the class tomorrow. So much for preparation...
Oh and volunteer Eric (the one getting married on Friday) came. Hearing him speak kinda confirmed that I don’t want to be here. He talked about how he just sat for 6 months doing nothing-not that he didn’t try but nobody wants to doing anything around here. I really don’t want that-shit, I just don’t know what to do. They are going to take me to Manatuto on Wednesday so I guess I will see then.
I know I have said it so many times already, I can do this, I just don’t want to. I don’t see myself here and happy. I honestly don’t know where I see myself but it isn’t here and it isn’t “working” for Peace Corps. I know at one point I wanted this experience but I really don’t anymore. I almost didn’t come here but I had to try it, I had to test it for myself to know otherwise I would regret it every day because I wouldn’t know what it was like, now I know. I remember talking to Aaron about not coming and he said that out motivations for doing something change well I think is what happened.
I really need to talk to Bill. I can’t just keep writing in circles, it doesn’t get me anywhere.
September 4, 2005
So-first head cold in ET and it SUCKS! Today we did laundry and then went to Dili. Ally and I actually worked on our health fair project. We finished most of it. I got pics developed for my family. I checked e-mail. We watched Nip/Tuck and I was just zoned out. We got home kind of late, 7 pm! Whoa, wild Saturday night. Oh, while we were waiting for the anguna a guy on a motorcycle drove up and stopped in front of me and in perfect English asked “May I ask where you are going?” Then drove off. It was so funny and random.
I think I forgot to write but Wednesday, Ramos Horta, the minister of foreign affairs and a Nobel Prize winner came and spoke to us.
Gene talked to me today and I said that I will go out to Manatuto this coming week for a day, we will see how that goes.
I think I forgot to write but Wednesday, Ramos Horta, the minister of foreign affairs and a Nobel Prize winner came and spoke to us.
Gene talked to me today and I said that I will go out to Manatuto this coming week for a day, we will see how that goes.
September 2, 2005
6:55pm No, I am not in bed already. I just have a quiet minute!
Well, I have developed a nervous twitch in my left eye. It has been twitching since lunch time, so annoying. It must be do to stress. I also have one bite the size of the entire country on my lower back. So gross! Today, other than my twitch and bite, was great. We found a water source that required about a 30 minute hike in the jungle-so beautiful. Then had a 2 hour lunch, then had language, then hung out at the kiosk. I slept well last night so felt kind of better today.
Oh, so after we went on the hike we went to Jesse’s and the president’s son was sitting there. He is 4 and OMG so CUTE! Xanana’s wife is Australian so he is mixed and just gorgeous, curly brown/blond hair. On top of being too cute, he spoke English, Tetun, and Portugese. Wow, he was cute and super smart-he talked about how spiders (his pet spiders) couldn’t eat flies because flies are too big but mosquitoes are a good size.
Ave called me today to give me my option_ (no “s” mind you). They are going to send me to Manatuto, 1.5 hours from Dili on the north coast. I told him I would have to see it first (which if I am going to stay is a must). Also there are already two volunteers there (Sash and Lillias). I don’t know, I am still pretty set on going home but I will for sure know more once I see the place. Ah-my eye is going crazy!
Dinner time.
Well, I have developed a nervous twitch in my left eye. It has been twitching since lunch time, so annoying. It must be do to stress. I also have one bite the size of the entire country on my lower back. So gross! Today, other than my twitch and bite, was great. We found a water source that required about a 30 minute hike in the jungle-so beautiful. Then had a 2 hour lunch, then had language, then hung out at the kiosk. I slept well last night so felt kind of better today.
Oh, so after we went on the hike we went to Jesse’s and the president’s son was sitting there. He is 4 and OMG so CUTE! Xanana’s wife is Australian so he is mixed and just gorgeous, curly brown/blond hair. On top of being too cute, he spoke English, Tetun, and Portugese. Wow, he was cute and super smart-he talked about how spiders (his pet spiders) couldn’t eat flies because flies are too big but mosquitoes are a good size.
Ave called me today to give me my option_ (no “s” mind you). They are going to send me to Manatuto, 1.5 hours from Dili on the north coast. I told him I would have to see it first (which if I am going to stay is a must). Also there are already two volunteers there (Sash and Lillias). I don’t know, I am still pretty set on going home but I will for sure know more once I see the place. Ah-my eye is going crazy!
Dinner time.
September 1, 2005
6 am. I can’t #$%#$% stand #$%#$%$ roosters. I have never wanted a creature dead so badly. I have been up since 3:30 because of them! It is like they don't understand that they are supposed to do their thing ONLY when the sun rises!!!!
8:15 pm It is TC’s birthday today. Last night we had a nice dinner with Alfanso, me, TC, Randy, and Joe’s family. TC has an odd hate, he hates post-it notes. So, the clever individual I am had everyone in the group write him a note on one and when he went to class this morning we covered his room in them. It was awesome and he loved it!
Other than that my day was just OK. I was up since 3:30 with going to bed at 10 so I as super tired all day.
Oh-I built a brick-we made cement and I made a brick. We also made a slab for a pit latrine. It was fun to do some actual work.
I saw a rat just now in the santina-YUCK!
It’s so cute-both baby girls are really warming up to me. They grab my hand an everything. I really like that they aren’t afraid of me.
8:15 pm It is TC’s birthday today. Last night we had a nice dinner with Alfanso, me, TC, Randy, and Joe’s family. TC has an odd hate, he hates post-it notes. So, the clever individual I am had everyone in the group write him a note on one and when he went to class this morning we covered his room in them. It was awesome and he loved it!
Other than that my day was just OK. I was up since 3:30 with going to bed at 10 so I as super tired all day.
Oh-I built a brick-we made cement and I made a brick. We also made a slab for a pit latrine. It was fun to do some actual work.
I saw a rat just now in the santina-YUCK!
It’s so cute-both baby girls are really warming up to me. They grab my hand an everything. I really like that they aren’t afraid of me.
August 30, 2005
7:38 pm Status of my decision is the same.
Today we had a wonderful relaxing day. Randy and I did laundry this morning and then we went to Dili. Getting to Dili was an adventure. I know mom would not approve. We hitchhiked a ride with some soldiers. It ONLY took 15 minutes to get down (usually it takes about 30-45). It was fun but scary. We went to the PC office then made our way to Caz Bar. It is a nice restaurant just by the beach. We (me, Randy, TC, and Joe) ate and went to the beach the entire day. It was so nice to just relax.
After the beach we headed back home.
Dr. Bill called to check on me today. I feel alright-very tense and I have a bad headache but it is stress.
I am ALMOST done with Harry Potter! This book has been my saving grace the past week, I could always count on it when I needed a distraction!
Today we had a wonderful relaxing day. Randy and I did laundry this morning and then we went to Dili. Getting to Dili was an adventure. I know mom would not approve. We hitchhiked a ride with some soldiers. It ONLY took 15 minutes to get down (usually it takes about 30-45). It was fun but scary. We went to the PC office then made our way to Caz Bar. It is a nice restaurant just by the beach. We (me, Randy, TC, and Joe) ate and went to the beach the entire day. It was so nice to just relax.
After the beach we headed back home.
Dr. Bill called to check on me today. I feel alright-very tense and I have a bad headache but it is stress.
I am ALMOST done with Harry Potter! This book has been my saving grace the past week, I could always count on it when I needed a distraction!
August 29, 2005
7:59 pm. I am probably the most tired I have ever been in my life. My mind is so tired from talking and thinking so much. Today I talked with Gene, Ave, and Bill, all separately. Gene apologized and will give me options to change. I feel he sincerely is sorry. Ave also apologized but really had nothing else to say-it is his fault (and Richards but he is gone). Bill was the best. He truly does care about me. Everyone else is supportive regardless of what I decide to do. He really helped me get something kind of tangible out of my mess of emotions. He told me to make my mind up because worrying about doing that is the hardest thing and takes up so much energy. He said to make my mind up but not really tell anyone-have a date in mind and if my mind changes between now and then, fine. But if not, then it will be easy to announce and I don’t have to stress about it.
So as of right now my decision is to go home. I will leave when I would move from Balibar. I won’t stay for swear-in (that would be too hard). I will wait to tell PC until the 10th or 11th. I am going to let them offer me choices and I still open to staying here if I feel comfortable and right at the new site. If not I am coming home. I feel good-emotionally drained but happy. I have learned a lot more than ever before about so many things. My mind is really clouded with emotions but they will clear up now that I have decided.
So as of right now my decision is to go home. I will leave when I would move from Balibar. I won’t stay for swear-in (that would be too hard). I will wait to tell PC until the 10th or 11th. I am going to let them offer me choices and I still open to staying here if I feel comfortable and right at the new site. If not I am coming home. I feel good-emotionally drained but happy. I have learned a lot more than ever before about so many things. My mind is really clouded with emotions but they will clear up now that I have decided.
August 28, 2005
9 pm. So-I am home, well home as in Balibar and I am SO happy. My host family is amazing. My host mom said she missed me so much. She didn’t eat or sleep for 2 days. I just loved coming back here and I am going to have a hard time leaving this.
I have talked about my visit so much-I don’t think I can write anymore. Everyone (the trainees and volunteers and my mom and my brother) are all 100% supportive of whatever I decide. I feel much better now that I have talked to people but I still don’t know. I don’t think I will be effective here-I know I can be here, it isn’t that I am weak but I just don’t see myself making the impact that I want to make.
I just don’t know-I feel like I am trying to convince myself that its okay to leave even though I don’t need to. I simply need to do what I feel is right. My fear is that I will regret leaving. I would be afraid that I would constantly be thinking of the people I COULD be helping. But with that said, I feel I have seen the reality of living here enough that I know I wouldn’t REALLY be helping THAT many people. My whole reason for living is to help, I can do that in thousands of places-it doesn’t have to be here.
I fully intended on staying the two years but I really didn’t know the reality of what I was getting in to. I had to try it.
Tomorrow is D-day. I will talk to Gene. I don’t know how it will go. I am going to be strong. I am rational enough now to convey myself. I don’t know if they can say anything that will change my mind. But I also didn’t think there was anything that could change my mind about staying here?? We will see.
Time to distract myself in Harry Potter!
I have talked about my visit so much-I don’t think I can write anymore. Everyone (the trainees and volunteers and my mom and my brother) are all 100% supportive of whatever I decide. I feel much better now that I have talked to people but I still don’t know. I don’t think I will be effective here-I know I can be here, it isn’t that I am weak but I just don’t see myself making the impact that I want to make.
I just don’t know-I feel like I am trying to convince myself that its okay to leave even though I don’t need to. I simply need to do what I feel is right. My fear is that I will regret leaving. I would be afraid that I would constantly be thinking of the people I COULD be helping. But with that said, I feel I have seen the reality of living here enough that I know I wouldn’t REALLY be helping THAT many people. My whole reason for living is to help, I can do that in thousands of places-it doesn’t have to be here.
I fully intended on staying the two years but I really didn’t know the reality of what I was getting in to. I had to try it.
Tomorrow is D-day. I will talk to Gene. I don’t know how it will go. I am going to be strong. I am rational enough now to convey myself. I don’t know if they can say anything that will change my mind. But I also didn’t think there was anything that could change my mind about staying here?? We will see.
Time to distract myself in Harry Potter!
August 26, 2005
I am no closer to my decision to stay or go. This morning I was in another world. I didn’t sleep well. Romeo (the dad of the house) came with me on the anguna to Same. On the way I saw Aaron, he was on his way to a meeting. Then when I got off my favorite person in the world was there-Jay. We walked to Aaron’s house and I lost it. I told him all about what happened and he said to just think about it. I am going to talk to PC and Dr. Bill tomorrow. I also talked to Rebekah and she said the same.
I know my situation will change and I feel much less upset than yesterday but I still don’t see myself here.
I know my situation will change and I feel much less upset than yesterday but I still don’t see myself here.
August 25, 2005
6:47am So I think I am coming home. I woke up today with this horrific feeling. I am not going to make any quick decisions but I just don’t see myself here for 2 years. I need to talk with someone so being alone doesn’t help. I just have this feeling. I don’t feel anymore that if I come home I am giving up, I feel I am doing what is best for me. I don’t feel this is it. Bt I am not going to think about it for the day-talk to PC when I get back and see what happens.
11:27am Still not thinking about going home. It is just so weird-the clinic is open but maybe 5 people have come. Another nurse is here and I spoke to him and Olinda (the nice nurse) about the main problems. Malaria is the biggest. They do promotions in the villages but se motorcycle which I can’t ride. I just don’t know-I feel helpless and like I am just taking up space. I know I need to just take initiative and figure things out but I don’t feel I can. They forbid me from going anywhere alone.
Oh-so the girl from last night died. A ministry of health truck came by and told us this morning. I think I am shock from the whole experience and have no one to talk to about it. Just get through today and I will figure it out. I feel like I should do something but WHAT?!?!!?
3:14 pm I have pretty much decided on going home-this just isn’t for me. Now this feeling may change but I don’t think so. I don’t know what it is but I know enough about myself to trust my gut. My gut is telling me to go home. It’s a big deal that I am writing this down because I know I am serious. It is as if a weight has been lifted after coming to this realization. I know they say change is slow here but give me a break-I don’t see myself making an impact here. I know as shitty of a job CORAL was-I did something for those kids. There isn’t one reason. I just want to feel like I am accomplishing something. I don’t see it or feel it here-granted its been 2 days but I know when to trust myself.
9:08pm So I have pretty much checked out-I just don’t see myself here. I am having a sweat/panic attack again. I just need to get through tonight talk to someone who understands me and figure out what to do.
This afternoon a guy named Orlando came by, he is a nurse at the CHC where I was yesterday. I put a smile on my face and said the only problem was Sergio not coming and the room is too small. He is going to work on the room/living situation. It is not his fault that my counterpart didn’t show and wasted my time. He gave me a map of the area and was really nice.
11:27am Still not thinking about going home. It is just so weird-the clinic is open but maybe 5 people have come. Another nurse is here and I spoke to him and Olinda (the nice nurse) about the main problems. Malaria is the biggest. They do promotions in the villages but se motorcycle which I can’t ride. I just don’t know-I feel helpless and like I am just taking up space. I know I need to just take initiative and figure things out but I don’t feel I can. They forbid me from going anywhere alone.
Oh-so the girl from last night died. A ministry of health truck came by and told us this morning. I think I am shock from the whole experience and have no one to talk to about it. Just get through today and I will figure it out. I feel like I should do something but WHAT?!?!!?
3:14 pm I have pretty much decided on going home-this just isn’t for me. Now this feeling may change but I don’t think so. I don’t know what it is but I know enough about myself to trust my gut. My gut is telling me to go home. It’s a big deal that I am writing this down because I know I am serious. It is as if a weight has been lifted after coming to this realization. I know they say change is slow here but give me a break-I don’t see myself making an impact here. I know as shitty of a job CORAL was-I did something for those kids. There isn’t one reason. I just want to feel like I am accomplishing something. I don’t see it or feel it here-granted its been 2 days but I know when to trust myself.
9:08pm So I have pretty much checked out-I just don’t see myself here. I am having a sweat/panic attack again. I just need to get through tonight talk to someone who understands me and figure out what to do.
This afternoon a guy named Orlando came by, he is a nurse at the CHC where I was yesterday. I put a smile on my face and said the only problem was Sergio not coming and the room is too small. He is going to work on the room/living situation. It is not his fault that my counterpart didn’t show and wasted my time. He gave me a map of the area and was really nice.
August 24, 2005
6:50 AM So I made it through the night. I slept pretty well. OK, so just more observations/venting. I don’t think I’m with the right family. The paper that Peace Corps gave me (which may be wrong) says I am living with Manuel Soares-I am definitely not with his family. That is my project today, to figure that out or find a bigger room. They said the beach was right at my porch but from my house I see not beach, must find that today also.
I am totally overwhelmed and really just want to figure everything out but I know it will take a while. I need to just sit back and I will figure it out soon enough. I am sure most of it is my misunderstanding and PC mixing it up.
My only real discomfort for the next 3 days is that there is no lock on the door. Thankfully the PC driver took a look in my room and made them board up my window.
Other than that I will work this out. I am nervous but I know I am smart enough that I can figure out how and where to live.
I thought I was supposed to go with a lady from the clinic to another clinic today (now) but I guess not.
The mom’s name is Maria, the baby is Titano (?) and there is a cute girl with a fro. The nurse is Olinda.
Yesterday we drove the same way we went when we did our volunteer visit (to Laclubar) to drop Dewey (a volunteer) off. He lives in the FOHO!
So this family leaves me pretty much alone but I feel they don’t want me here. Ah! Relax-it will work out. I just had a cup of the sweetest coffee EVER so I am scatter brained.
.
12:26 pm I have no idea what’s going on and I did just lose it. About an hour ago a PC truck showed up to check on me. I am at the big clinic just observing. They came because of my room. They put me on the outside of the house because they thought they were getting a guy. Betty (a volunteer) came and I just started crying. It was not that I was overwhelmed at that moment but just everything. My counterpart is still nowhere to be found, the nice lady nurse is very concerned for me because of my living situation.
I had my first serious thought of going home. I know I won’t this easily but I really don’t see myself here. It very well is probably due to the disorganization on PC part. I don’t see myself living here
We went to the market and I was just stared and laughed at. I know I can’t let it get to me but I have never felt so stupid in my life and it really makes me angry. It’s the fish bowl thing but it hasn’t gotten to me like this before. I had higher expectations of my placement- 1st and biggest mistake. I thought I would be closer to water and that would keep me sane. I really have nothing. The nice nurse is helping but she was put in a hard situation. Ah-I should have been more prepared. It so weird, like I know I can live here but my gut feeling is I don’t want to. I will see how I feel in a couple days. I am cutting my stay a day short and going to stay with Aaron Friday night. I will see what PC does/says, that might help me decide what to do.
9pm I just had the experience I never wanted to have but knew it would happen. About an hour before dinner an ambulance sped through. Just after dinner it came back. Since the nurse lives at the clinic and eats with s they stopped. The driver gets out and comes over to me. He speaks English-kinda. The nurse runs into the clinic, grabs medicine and comes back. The ambulance pulls to the side and they star working on the girl. She is maybe 20. The driver/EMT tells me she is sick because she didn’t eat. She is foaming at the mouth and I can hear her breathing from a good 10 feet away. I heard them try to talk to her and there was no response. It seems they started an IV-I think just to hydrate her. After about 10 minutes of watching this horrific feeling swept over my body. I almost threw up right then but I just walked to my room-by the time I got in privacy I was sweating a ton and shaking pretty bad. I sat down cause I felt like I was about to black out. I just sat and fanned myself for 10 minutes. I couldn’t stand, I couldn’t talk, I couldn’t do anything. I have never felt this before. I think if I had not walked away when I did I would have fainted. After about 30 minutes of working on her they took off towards Same. I asked why she was sick and they said she took too much medicine and was “drunk” from that. I didn’t ask but from they way they ere talking I don’t know if she will live. I don’t know how I am feeling, I have never experienced or witnessed something like this. I think with all that happened today my entire body and mind are on overload. I didn’t shed a tear because I think I was in shock. Wow-Life was just really put into perspective-I don’t know what perspective but my eyes were definitely widened.
I am totally overwhelmed and really just want to figure everything out but I know it will take a while. I need to just sit back and I will figure it out soon enough. I am sure most of it is my misunderstanding and PC mixing it up.
My only real discomfort for the next 3 days is that there is no lock on the door. Thankfully the PC driver took a look in my room and made them board up my window.
Other than that I will work this out. I am nervous but I know I am smart enough that I can figure out how and where to live.
I thought I was supposed to go with a lady from the clinic to another clinic today (now) but I guess not.
The mom’s name is Maria, the baby is Titano (?) and there is a cute girl with a fro. The nurse is Olinda.
Yesterday we drove the same way we went when we did our volunteer visit (to Laclubar) to drop Dewey (a volunteer) off. He lives in the FOHO!
So this family leaves me pretty much alone but I feel they don’t want me here. Ah! Relax-it will work out. I just had a cup of the sweetest coffee EVER so I am scatter brained.
.
12:26 pm I have no idea what’s going on and I did just lose it. About an hour ago a PC truck showed up to check on me. I am at the big clinic just observing. They came because of my room. They put me on the outside of the house because they thought they were getting a guy. Betty (a volunteer) came and I just started crying. It was not that I was overwhelmed at that moment but just everything. My counterpart is still nowhere to be found, the nice lady nurse is very concerned for me because of my living situation.
I had my first serious thought of going home. I know I won’t this easily but I really don’t see myself here. It very well is probably due to the disorganization on PC part. I don’t see myself living here
We went to the market and I was just stared and laughed at. I know I can’t let it get to me but I have never felt so stupid in my life and it really makes me angry. It’s the fish bowl thing but it hasn’t gotten to me like this before. I had higher expectations of my placement- 1st and biggest mistake. I thought I would be closer to water and that would keep me sane. I really have nothing. The nice nurse is helping but she was put in a hard situation. Ah-I should have been more prepared. It so weird, like I know I can live here but my gut feeling is I don’t want to. I will see how I feel in a couple days. I am cutting my stay a day short and going to stay with Aaron Friday night. I will see what PC does/says, that might help me decide what to do.
9pm I just had the experience I never wanted to have but knew it would happen. About an hour before dinner an ambulance sped through. Just after dinner it came back. Since the nurse lives at the clinic and eats with s they stopped. The driver gets out and comes over to me. He speaks English-kinda. The nurse runs into the clinic, grabs medicine and comes back. The ambulance pulls to the side and they star working on the girl. She is maybe 20. The driver/EMT tells me she is sick because she didn’t eat. She is foaming at the mouth and I can hear her breathing from a good 10 feet away. I heard them try to talk to her and there was no response. It seems they started an IV-I think just to hydrate her. After about 10 minutes of watching this horrific feeling swept over my body. I almost threw up right then but I just walked to my room-by the time I got in privacy I was sweating a ton and shaking pretty bad. I sat down cause I felt like I was about to black out. I just sat and fanned myself for 10 minutes. I couldn’t stand, I couldn’t talk, I couldn’t do anything. I have never felt this before. I think if I had not walked away when I did I would have fainted. After about 30 minutes of working on her they took off towards Same. I asked why she was sick and they said she took too much medicine and was “drunk” from that. I didn’t ask but from they way they ere talking I don’t know if she will live. I don’t know how I am feeling, I have never experienced or witnessed something like this. I think with all that happened today my entire body and mind are on overload. I didn’t shed a tear because I think I was in shock. Wow-Life was just really put into perspective-I don’t know what perspective but my eyes were definitely widened.
August 23, 2005
8:54 am. I missed my first day of writing!
9:00 pm Ok so at this moment I am trying to tell myself to calm down, big breaths and this is everything I prepared for. I am here at my site, no cell reception, no electricity, this is it. My room is so tiny. It fits a very large but hard as a rock bed but there is no extra room. There is no way I can live here for 2 years. I need room for my stuff and there just isn’t any here. When they dropped me off it was like a surprise that I was here (I expected that though). I am doing fine with language. The clinic where I will be working is directly across the street. I can’t see the water as was told to me yesterday but it is close and full of crocodiles. I am going to explore tomorrow. I don’t know what my options are for living-I just know it can’t be like this.
Seriously, this is exactly the image I had in my head of where I would be placed. It is so beautiful-long straight roads (great for a bike) with high green weeds on both sides. Palm trees/coconut trees are everywhere. It really is tropical looking/feeling. I can’t wait to see the water. I believe I successfully explained that I want to cook for myself. Oh-I didn’t even mention that I am living with the Xefe de Suco. My room has no lock on it but I feel safe. I really haven’t processed it all-I guess I just needed to get my initial thoughts out. I am alone-I am scared but I feel ok. I may freak out but that’s fine. This is what I prepared for before I left. I must sleep now, long day of bouncing in the PC car today (7 hours to be exact)
9:00 pm Ok so at this moment I am trying to tell myself to calm down, big breaths and this is everything I prepared for. I am here at my site, no cell reception, no electricity, this is it. My room is so tiny. It fits a very large but hard as a rock bed but there is no extra room. There is no way I can live here for 2 years. I need room for my stuff and there just isn’t any here. When they dropped me off it was like a surprise that I was here (I expected that though). I am doing fine with language. The clinic where I will be working is directly across the street. I can’t see the water as was told to me yesterday but it is close and full of crocodiles. I am going to explore tomorrow. I don’t know what my options are for living-I just know it can’t be like this.
Seriously, this is exactly the image I had in my head of where I would be placed. It is so beautiful-long straight roads (great for a bike) with high green weeds on both sides. Palm trees/coconut trees are everywhere. It really is tropical looking/feeling. I can’t wait to see the water. I believe I successfully explained that I want to cook for myself. Oh-I didn’t even mention that I am living with the Xefe de Suco. My room has no lock on it but I feel safe. I really haven’t processed it all-I guess I just needed to get my initial thoughts out. I am alone-I am scared but I feel ok. I may freak out but that’s fine. This is what I prepared for before I left. I must sleep now, long day of bouncing in the PC car today (7 hours to be exact)
August 21, 2005
7:44 PM I am in bed already…I have a problem, I am going to talk to Dr. Bill about it tomorrow. I sleep so much but am so tired, like my body hurts its so tired. I was dizzy and had to lie down-I eat way enough and am getting my protein (I have tofu or eggs at every meal). I slept/read today for 3 hours and then went to school and played more kickball-It may be that but I really didn’t exert myself THAT much-not enough that I should feel this bad.
I am very nervous (once again). Tomorrow is going to be a whole new first when I get to my site where I will be for 2 years! I am not letting it get to be because as with everything else, I know it will work out fine, but I admit it, I am scared and I am nervous. I predict a lot of akward silence.
My family here is so wonderful. They give me all they can and they are so nervous about me leaving. They gave me coffee to bring with me because they are afraid Alas won’t have any. They also gave me a spoon and a cup to make the coffee. I am more toched by that than any other gift given to me before. I know how much time and effort goes into making the coffee and it isn’t a small deal that they give some to me. It’s huge-its all they have to give me and they are so proud to do so. I really am going to miss them.
I asked the language teacher about them calling me “bi'in” instead of Mana-they said it is a really good thing and that it means they have accepted me as family and respect me a lot.
I am very nervous (once again). Tomorrow is going to be a whole new first when I get to my site where I will be for 2 years! I am not letting it get to be because as with everything else, I know it will work out fine, but I admit it, I am scared and I am nervous. I predict a lot of akward silence.
My family here is so wonderful. They give me all they can and they are so nervous about me leaving. They gave me coffee to bring with me because they are afraid Alas won’t have any. They also gave me a spoon and a cup to make the coffee. I am more toched by that than any other gift given to me before. I know how much time and effort goes into making the coffee and it isn’t a small deal that they give some to me. It’s huge-its all they have to give me and they are so proud to do so. I really am going to miss them.
I asked the language teacher about them calling me “bi'in” instead of Mana-they said it is a really good thing and that it means they have accepted me as family and respect me a lot.
August 20, 2005
8:00 AM Sweeping my room listening to Bon Jovi-Livin on a Prayer. My life is not so bad!
8:01 PM- Ah, See I need to not always start with “so. Today was wonderful. I had a happy and relaxed day. I “slept-in” till 6:30! OH MY GOD-I am so lazy. No Anto said I could night before-I was actually not fully asleep from about 3 on but I just listened to Jack Johnson and kind of slept.
So, (see I did it). I cleaned my room-the dirt here is amazing, there is so much of it. I think sweeping is actually bad for me cause then all the stuff is in the air and in my lungs.
We went to school for a while and I had my interview with Nelson. Randy and I came home at like 11 and I did laundry and ate and talked to him while he did his (he has more close here than I brought all together).
Anyway the god father was having another meeting at 2 so we made sure NOT to be here. We went to play kick ball at school. It was so much fun. We taught the kids and they were so good. Kids here are so much more athletic than in the states-they understood the game and played well in 5 minutes. That’s really good considering the language barrier.
We played till about 4:30 and then sat around and walked back via the cold Kiosk.
Joe left for the island already so it was me, TC, Randy, and Jesse. This was the 1st real time I had spent with Jesse and it was great.
My host mom is going to teach me how to make coffee and send some with me because apparently they don’t have any in Alas.
I must sleep-church in the morning.
8:01 PM- Ah, See I need to not always start with “so. Today was wonderful. I had a happy and relaxed day. I “slept-in” till 6:30! OH MY GOD-I am so lazy. No Anto said I could night before-I was actually not fully asleep from about 3 on but I just listened to Jack Johnson and kind of slept.
So, (see I did it). I cleaned my room-the dirt here is amazing, there is so much of it. I think sweeping is actually bad for me cause then all the stuff is in the air and in my lungs.
We went to school for a while and I had my interview with Nelson. Randy and I came home at like 11 and I did laundry and ate and talked to him while he did his (he has more close here than I brought all together).
Anyway the god father was having another meeting at 2 so we made sure NOT to be here. We went to play kick ball at school. It was so much fun. We taught the kids and they were so good. Kids here are so much more athletic than in the states-they understood the game and played well in 5 minutes. That’s really good considering the language barrier.
We played till about 4:30 and then sat around and walked back via the cold Kiosk.
Joe left for the island already so it was me, TC, Randy, and Jesse. This was the 1st real time I had spent with Jesse and it was great.
My host mom is going to teach me how to make coffee and send some with me because apparently they don’t have any in Alas.
I must sleep-church in the morning.
August 19, 2005
7:15 am. Oh my goodness! I am so sick to my stomach right now I just have to write. Here I am enjoying my bread and coffee. The baby is being cute then she pees all over the bench, Anto, and herself. We just keep eating, pee everywhere-gross but it gets worse. About 5 minutes later the baby craps it falls out her pants and onto the ground. Anto just laughs- I AM TRYING TO EAT! So she takes her out and then when she comes back she calls the dog over and she eats the poo-at this point I am close to vomiting-actually I still feel that way!. So, I get up and walk to my room, ah, some things I just can’t get used to.
8:15 pm So my headache is finally gone-I feel so much better. I finished my romance- it was so dumb.
Today we had a talk from Dr. Dan Murphy-he is an American doctor who is so passionate about helping the Timorese. They train normal women in how to be mid wives so more communities have them. He really wants to coordinate with us so we will figure out which woman can be sent to get training. This guy is so passionate he was really amazing. He put a lot in perspective for me. I am here to work-as weird as it sounds I haven’t thought of this as work yet, but I need to change my mind set-I have a job to do and I want to do a good job Its going to rest a lot o me as to how I do a good job or what I do.
So we had him talk then lunch-I snuck tuna in my room-it was so yummy. Then we had Tetun the rest of the day.
8:15 pm So my headache is finally gone-I feel so much better. I finished my romance- it was so dumb.
Today we had a talk from Dr. Dan Murphy-he is an American doctor who is so passionate about helping the Timorese. They train normal women in how to be mid wives so more communities have them. He really wants to coordinate with us so we will figure out which woman can be sent to get training. This guy is so passionate he was really amazing. He put a lot in perspective for me. I am here to work-as weird as it sounds I haven’t thought of this as work yet, but I need to change my mind set-I have a job to do and I want to do a good job Its going to rest a lot o me as to how I do a good job or what I do.
So we had him talk then lunch-I snuck tuna in my room-it was so yummy. Then we had Tetun the rest of the day.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
August 18, 2005
7:33 pm So I am such a loser-in bed at 7:30-I don’t plan on sleeping yet but I need some me time, not to mention I have a little fever (100) but that’s after IB profen.
Today we were in Dili-AGAIN. We went to Arte Moris which is basically an art school but not really. It is a compound where anybody can come “do art” They have theater, music, painting, sculptures. About 30 people live there (for free) and do their art. They have a music room where they can record. It is the only established place of its kind in ET. It is amazing. We didn’t hear any music or see any theater but the art was fabulous. Like I am not usually enthralled or interested by paintings but these were so cool-I am going to try to get one and send it home at some point. They are having their first ever theater conference in a couple weeks-we are going to try to go. The theater group is called Bebe Bolak (crazy goat) and they work on doing plays that double has public service (a lot of health issues) announcements. The Galaxy-the music group that records there is super popular here now and they do the same type of education based music. It is an amazing set up and they 1st place I have been where I wasn’t stared at for being a foreigner-they were all so nice there.
So have that we had pizza and then medical talks the rest of the afternoon. I feel icky so I just wanted to be home.
Oh-they are being so quiet, it is so wonderful.
My host mom is also asleep but she was up all last night cause some super father (priest) from India died a couple days ago. He has lived here since 1947-crazy!
Today we were in Dili-AGAIN. We went to Arte Moris which is basically an art school but not really. It is a compound where anybody can come “do art” They have theater, music, painting, sculptures. About 30 people live there (for free) and do their art. They have a music room where they can record. It is the only established place of its kind in ET. It is amazing. We didn’t hear any music or see any theater but the art was fabulous. Like I am not usually enthralled or interested by paintings but these were so cool-I am going to try to get one and send it home at some point. They are having their first ever theater conference in a couple weeks-we are going to try to go. The theater group is called Bebe Bolak (crazy goat) and they work on doing plays that double has public service (a lot of health issues) announcements. The Galaxy-the music group that records there is super popular here now and they do the same type of education based music. It is an amazing set up and they 1st place I have been where I wasn’t stared at for being a foreigner-they were all so nice there.
So have that we had pizza and then medical talks the rest of the afternoon. I feel icky so I just wanted to be home.
Oh-they are being so quiet, it is so wonderful.
My host mom is also asleep but she was up all last night cause some super father (priest) from India died a couple days ago. He has lived here since 1947-crazy!
August 17, 2005
8:18 pm I HAVE MY SITE PLACEMENT!!!! ALAS it is…that’s all I know for now. It is small “city” on the south coast…it is supposedly beautiful but I will really get to see in less than one week. My only fear is no cell receptions but then I get a satellite phone and cal call home for free! I am in another world-so happy but so nervous. This compares to 3 other times in my life: going to college, going to SAS and coming here. All worked out beautifully as I know this will. I am so happy I am near the water. Being near the beach gives me so much happiness and its my way of relaxing. For the first time PC came through with actually fitting all of us with appropriate sites. They surprised us when they told us today. It wasn’t supposed to be until tomorrow. Richard says I have one of the best sites-he says it is beautiful. Oh, I am so happy. I will be doing school health promotions and record keeping-again very fitting for me.
Ok-my headache is back in full force. I went to the doc today and he gave me prescription IB profen-it helped but it has worn off and so took Tylenol PM. They know my head hurts so that have been silent-thank god!
Oh Joe is going to Atouro (the island)
Randy to Baucau (the LA of ET)
TC to Tibar (30 inutes west of Dili-the slumps that flood)
I am closest to Mike and Ally so I am super excited!
Ok-my headache is back in full force. I went to the doc today and he gave me prescription IB profen-it helped but it has worn off and so took Tylenol PM. They know my head hurts so that have been silent-thank god!
Oh Joe is going to Atouro (the island)
Randy to Baucau (the LA of ET)
TC to Tibar (30 inutes west of Dili-the slumps that flood)
I am closest to Mike and Ally so I am super excited!
August 16, 2005
18:57 So journal #3 begins. I so can’t wait to read these later in life!
We are all going through a pissy phase right now. I think that we are all feeding off of each other and though we are not 100% serious we are talking about going home. Of course this isn’t going to happen, but it is the front of my mind. I feel as if I have hit a wall, the first of many. My thinking is: why be so far away from everything and everybody I love when I can help just as much (if not more) while being closer to those things? I know I can and will help here-I know I don’t want to give up. I know a wonderful life will be in both places-different but wonderful. I have to remember the one child thing. But can’t I do that at home?
These feelings come in such distinct waves. Sometimes I feel so happy that I am here and so right, then other times I doubt my decision to leave. I know when I complete this it will be my biggest accomplishment in my life. That keeps me going. My pride has gotten in the way. It is keeping me here. I want to help but also I can’t give up. As we talked about before I left-I would regret every day if I gave up. But how do I know I won’t regret every day I am not in the states. I have such a homebodiness in me-I have a sense of adventure but I also just love being home. I don’t feel at home yet here-I know this will take time but I want that comfort feeling and I am so far removed from that and will be for such a long time that it scares me. And then I have to go through it all over again when I get home.
Ah-I know this will pass. I bet as soon as I get my site assignment in two days, I will feel better once I know where I will be-I feel so helpless and stagnant right now. I still keep my head high and keep observing and keep learning. If I go home today I will come back a better person, If I go home in two years I will be a better person also. I just can’t think to much…it is big circle and my head hurts
We are all going through a pissy phase right now. I think that we are all feeding off of each other and though we are not 100% serious we are talking about going home. Of course this isn’t going to happen, but it is the front of my mind. I feel as if I have hit a wall, the first of many. My thinking is: why be so far away from everything and everybody I love when I can help just as much (if not more) while being closer to those things? I know I can and will help here-I know I don’t want to give up. I know a wonderful life will be in both places-different but wonderful. I have to remember the one child thing. But can’t I do that at home?
These feelings come in such distinct waves. Sometimes I feel so happy that I am here and so right, then other times I doubt my decision to leave. I know when I complete this it will be my biggest accomplishment in my life. That keeps me going. My pride has gotten in the way. It is keeping me here. I want to help but also I can’t give up. As we talked about before I left-I would regret every day if I gave up. But how do I know I won’t regret every day I am not in the states. I have such a homebodiness in me-I have a sense of adventure but I also just love being home. I don’t feel at home yet here-I know this will take time but I want that comfort feeling and I am so far removed from that and will be for such a long time that it scares me. And then I have to go through it all over again when I get home.
Ah-I know this will pass. I bet as soon as I get my site assignment in two days, I will feel better once I know where I will be-I feel so helpless and stagnant right now. I still keep my head high and keep observing and keep learning. If I go home today I will come back a better person, If I go home in two years I will be a better person also. I just can’t think to much…it is big circle and my head hurts
August 15, 2005
I forgot to write about something, so before the festa the other day we had to go to the cemetery to do something for the dead person who the fest was for. Well, on the way there was another funeral procession. A child had died and they were burying them. We were early to the cemetery so we joined the child’s funeral first. The casket was so small, I have never seen something like that before. I didn’t cry then but I cry now thinking about it. After they buried the child they covered the grave with pink and red flowers, put a cross on top and also about 200 candles. It was so powerful. I didn’t have my camera but the image is burned in my head. The lights and the flowers in the dark was one of the prettiest yet saddest things I have ever seen. It was a reality check for me-an eye opener, somebody’s baby is dead, a mother lost her baby. I can’t imagine, I don’t want to imagine-but that the reality here. And if I indirectly or directly prevent one mother from losing her baby-I can’t tell you how happy I will be. That will be my reward-that’s why I’m here. That little life didn’t need to be buried beneath the flowers and candles, I would have rather not seen it, it not to have happened. I don’t know why he/she died but it probably could have been prevented.
I am glad I saw it because it put why I’m here in focus. When I close my eyes I see the grave and I know why I’m here.
I am almost done with this journal. Things sure have changed from when I started it!
Op…electricity just went out. I hope they will be quiet now. They’ve stopped being considerate when I try to sleep.
Off to bed now, time for my IPOD to get me to go to sleep.
They have started calling me biin Lisa (sister Lisa). I will miss them, not the crying kids and rosters though.
I am glad I saw it because it put why I’m here in focus. When I close my eyes I see the grave and I know why I’m here.
I am almost done with this journal. Things sure have changed from when I started it!
Op…electricity just went out. I hope they will be quiet now. They’ve stopped being considerate when I try to sleep.
Off to bed now, time for my IPOD to get me to go to sleep.
They have started calling me biin Lisa (sister Lisa). I will miss them, not the crying kids and rosters though.
August 14, 2005
7:36 pm
Yes, I am already in bed. I don’t have a life here. I am exhausted. Today the #$@#$ roosters were horribly loud. We went to church 2 hours early (I don’t know why). We stood outside the whole service because there were too many people. We had to eat at the church cause the bishop was there and we are celebrities so we have/get to eat with him. We got home and I was pooped-I tried to sleep but between the kids screaming, dogs barking and $@%#$% chickens, I couldn’t (I’m not bitter!) At 3 we went and played volleyball again. I suck but it is so much fun. We came home around 6 and I talked with Anto. She says randy runs and talks like a girl. She won’t stop making fn of him-I love it! Now am here in bed and ready to crash!
I still need to write about the festa last night. The guys there were gross and drunk and rude. I said no to dancing with all of them. I had moved my ring over to my wedding ring finger so I just showed them that if they asked. The dancing is seriously like 7th grade. I is just one guy and one girl dancing the 2 step. They scatter the INSTANT the song is over. You can’t dance with the same person twice otherwise you are planning on marrying them. When we (a bunch of PC people) did dance they cheered and thought it was great.
Yes, I am already in bed. I don’t have a life here. I am exhausted. Today the #$@#$ roosters were horribly loud. We went to church 2 hours early (I don’t know why). We stood outside the whole service because there were too many people. We had to eat at the church cause the bishop was there and we are celebrities so we have/get to eat with him. We got home and I was pooped-I tried to sleep but between the kids screaming, dogs barking and $@%#$% chickens, I couldn’t (I’m not bitter!) At 3 we went and played volleyball again. I suck but it is so much fun. We came home around 6 and I talked with Anto. She says randy runs and talks like a girl. She won’t stop making fn of him-I love it! Now am here in bed and ready to crash!
I still need to write about the festa last night. The guys there were gross and drunk and rude. I said no to dancing with all of them. I had moved my ring over to my wedding ring finger so I just showed them that if they asked. The dancing is seriously like 7th grade. I is just one guy and one girl dancing the 2 step. They scatter the INSTANT the song is over. You can’t dance with the same person twice otherwise you are planning on marrying them. When we (a bunch of PC people) did dance they cheered and thought it was great.
August 13, 2005
6:10 pm. So tonight we are going to a party so I am writing now because who knows when I will be back. It is one year after the person died and they dance all night. I am excited to go, should be an interesting experience. Today we worked on our health fair project then came home-ate, did laundry, then played volleyball. It was super fun. My arms hurt now. We came home via 7-11 (the kiosk with cold sodas), they make good money off of us. Now I am sitting next to my host mom while she cuts beans and Christina Aguilera-Stronger, is playing in the house next door. Now it is playing Justin Timberlake, Senorita! I swear it is so surreal to be here and hearing that. Earlier they were playing Ice Ice Baby. I wore my 1st tank top today! I am trying to get rid of my farmer’s tan!
I am watching a mother hen with about 6 tiny chicks-they are sooo little, they have the hen tied up so the chicks don’t wonder off. It’s sad but cute. They are seriously less than 2 inches big.
Oh, so the baby burnt her finger today, their remedy- a birds wing-just the wing and feathers, bright green at that. I don’t know where it came from and I didn’t ask.
Well off to the festa!
11:39pm. Wow I haven’t been up this late in a long time. The festa was fun. I will describe its awkwardness tomorrow!
I am watching a mother hen with about 6 tiny chicks-they are sooo little, they have the hen tied up so the chicks don’t wonder off. It’s sad but cute. They are seriously less than 2 inches big.
Oh, so the baby burnt her finger today, their remedy- a birds wing-just the wing and feathers, bright green at that. I don’t know where it came from and I didn’t ask.
Well off to the festa!
11:39pm. Wow I haven’t been up this late in a long time. The festa was fun. I will describe its awkwardness tomorrow!
August 12, 2005
9PM
My brain is fried so this isn’t going to be long.
After class I got my anger and frustration out by working out with Jessica, Randy, Dustin, Victor and a bunch of kids. Jessica plans the work outs, she kicks my butt. I will be so sore tomorrow. Then we came home and played volleyball-super fun.
Oh, the lady I interviewed before came and talked and brought us cookies-homemade-SO GOOD!
I had a long test today, who knows how it went…
I helped cook for a little bit-I can’t stay in the kitchen too long cause the smoke hurts my eyes too much.
My brain is fried so this isn’t going to be long.
After class I got my anger and frustration out by working out with Jessica, Randy, Dustin, Victor and a bunch of kids. Jessica plans the work outs, she kicks my butt. I will be so sore tomorrow. Then we came home and played volleyball-super fun.
Oh, the lady I interviewed before came and talked and brought us cookies-homemade-SO GOOD!
I had a long test today, who knows how it went…
I helped cook for a little bit-I can’t stay in the kitchen too long cause the smoke hurts my eyes too much.
August 11, 2005
So my day was pretty good. I slept ok but for some reason woke up totally fatigued but I listened to some Graceland and that helped wake me up. I decided today would be a good day. So we had language class. I was supposed to get tested but they ran out of time. I had Mina as a teacher and she was SO much better. I told Nelson that I don’t want to have Sallus anymore. I feel bad but I need to learn Tetun. So after lunch we had 2 guest speakers. One was a guy who works for UNFPA (UN Family Planning Agency). It totally interests me. They work on population control via family planning. This country needs it SO BAD. There is an average of 7.8 kids per woman here- the highest in the world. They are going to distribute condoms to all clinics-I want to look into networking with them.
After that we had Nelson (the training directory) come and talk to us. The day before they had s fill out an evaluation and we all just let lose. It was constructive but harsh. I can tell you, I took about 1 hour to fill this out and I didn’t hold anything back.. They need to know!
So we came home, we stopped at a kiosk and had a cold soda. So we came home. I showered then there was a volleyball game happening. There was a kid’s game and a teenager game. TC and I joined the Teenager game until it got dark. I came in and talked with Antonia. My Tetun is coming along. I played a lot with the baby. Also Randy’s sister (Deonesia) is so cute. She s almost 2 and speaks in such a high voice-she cracks me up. She does this thing where she tenses her whole body and bugs her eyes out. I laugh so hard when I see her do that
After that we had Nelson (the training directory) come and talk to us. The day before they had s fill out an evaluation and we all just let lose. It was constructive but harsh. I can tell you, I took about 1 hour to fill this out and I didn’t hold anything back.. They need to know!
So we came home, we stopped at a kiosk and had a cold soda. So we came home. I showered then there was a volleyball game happening. There was a kid’s game and a teenager game. TC and I joined the Teenager game until it got dark. I came in and talked with Antonia. My Tetun is coming along. I played a lot with the baby. Also Randy’s sister (Deonesia) is so cute. She s almost 2 and speaks in such a high voice-she cracks me up. She does this thing where she tenses her whole body and bugs her eyes out. I laugh so hard when I see her do that
Monday, August 9, 2010
August 9, 2005
I gave in today and let my host family wash my clothes. I had nothing clean and no time. I don’t want to get in the habit though.
In the morning we did a role play of a meeting. I realized my Tetun sucks so I studied quite a bit tonight. We had a speaker from UNICEF. She was awesome. There are so many opportunities. She is super young and the head of health at UNICEF. She was a PCV in Morocco from 1996-1998. It is encouraging to see her. She went back and got her MPH. I need to figure out what tests I need to take to get into grad school.
Oh, also today about 5 of us worked out. My stomach is sore now but I feel god. I got all bit up from the hotel room-we think bed bugs, the bites hurt more than itch
Training is half way over tomorrow!
Oh, the crazy guy came back last night and my host mom hit him in the head and made his ears bleed!
In the morning we did a role play of a meeting. I realized my Tetun sucks so I studied quite a bit tonight. We had a speaker from UNICEF. She was awesome. There are so many opportunities. She is super young and the head of health at UNICEF. She was a PCV in Morocco from 1996-1998. It is encouraging to see her. She went back and got her MPH. I need to figure out what tests I need to take to get into grad school.
Oh, also today about 5 of us worked out. My stomach is sore now but I feel god. I got all bit up from the hotel room-we think bed bugs, the bites hurt more than itch
Training is half way over tomorrow!
Oh, the crazy guy came back last night and my host mom hit him in the head and made his ears bleed!
August 8, 2005
“Adapt to a certain point but don’t lose your personality. Defeats the purpose of being there”
So we got back into Dili around 4:30. That was after the ride down from Laclubar. Ok mental memory: 30 people sitting on top of each other, our bags (big bags) in the middle of the truck bed, a goat with its feet tied together beneath the bench where Sash is sitting, a baby with a VERY queasy look on his face. We get going and Emily says that on every anguna ride one person/child vomits. She said that the baby would puke. The anguna doesn’t go faster than 20 mph so I don’t believe her.. At one point 10 of the guys got off and hat to rn p the hill because the anguna couldn’t make it. Oh, I forgot one of the best parts, the gay guy: he had his nails painted, this black and gold head piece on and his voice was an octave higher than it should be. We know it as forced because every so often he would laugh and it would be an octave down from his voice. He seriously sounded like Elmo. Oh, and the goat made human like crying sounds every so often. I felt so bad but couldn’t help but laugh. So we bumped and bounced around the corners for 3 good long hours. About 2 hours into the ride the baby started to cough. Well it wasn’t just a cough. He puked all over Mike’s bag and some other ladies bag. Yes it was gross but there was nothing to do but laugh. Back to the goat. Of course, animals have to pee-well it got all over Mike and Sash’s feet. It was seriously so gross that all we could do was laugh (again). We got to Manatuto and decided to get off the anguna and try to hitch-hike. Well we walked up the street and found Randy, Emily, and Annie also waiting for a ride. We waited about 30 minutes and no ride came. To our embarrassment the SAME anguna drove by and stopped and got us. We were of course laughing. So about 1.5 hours more of goat crying and peeing (thank god the baby had gotten off) we get into Dili and are famished. So we go to One More Bar (a Malae bar). We get pizza and fries-so yummy!
At this point we head back to the PC office and are going to catch a taxi home. It is dark and the taxi would be like $10 and we would need 2. As we are walking to find it we see Joe and Jay (the creepy guy). We talk to them and find out Nelson (the training director) gave them and about 5 others permission to stay the night. We are like what?!?! So we call Nelson because we had ran into him about 20 minutes before and he didn’t say anything about staying the night. But he let us when we called him. We then called Alfonso who tells our families that we won’t be home.
The next morning we had to be at the PC office at 7am. We headed back to Balibar and had a 2 hour debrief session. Then we had to head back down to Dili to interview NGOs. I went with Alfonso to the only psychological facility in ET. It was very interesting for me. I am going to try to arrange something on my own to work with them. We come back to the office and a lady from CARE came and spoke to us. It is so encouraging to hear form other people. I know I can make this my experience.
Today I also had my interview with Richard, the APCD. He is basically my boss. He told me with some certainty that I will be going to a beach site. I am so excited to find out where I will be going. We all are and there is a lot of gossip about it.
After my meeting we took a taxi to the anguna station and hoped on another anguna. Well about 10 minutes from my house it started pouring! And who was in a white t-shirt, me! I was successful at keeping myself covered. I ran home and that was when I felt “it” The last few days were so chaotic and adventurous and n but I as so glad to be “home.” Joe’s host kids were screaming my name, the baby smiled when she saw me, I taught her to play peek-a-boo. I just sat and “talked” to Anto and Ama. They were all so happy to see me and talk to me. It felt so good. I had not had this feeling yet. It was great. Again, I just having this feeling of this is where I need to be.
I know also why I am so happy. I heard Bon Jovi TWICE today and the taxi driver was wearing a Bon Jovi t-shirt!
So we got back into Dili around 4:30. That was after the ride down from Laclubar. Ok mental memory: 30 people sitting on top of each other, our bags (big bags) in the middle of the truck bed, a goat with its feet tied together beneath the bench where Sash is sitting, a baby with a VERY queasy look on his face. We get going and Emily says that on every anguna ride one person/child vomits. She said that the baby would puke. The anguna doesn’t go faster than 20 mph so I don’t believe her.. At one point 10 of the guys got off and hat to rn p the hill because the anguna couldn’t make it. Oh, I forgot one of the best parts, the gay guy: he had his nails painted, this black and gold head piece on and his voice was an octave higher than it should be. We know it as forced because every so often he would laugh and it would be an octave down from his voice. He seriously sounded like Elmo. Oh, and the goat made human like crying sounds every so often. I felt so bad but couldn’t help but laugh. So we bumped and bounced around the corners for 3 good long hours. About 2 hours into the ride the baby started to cough. Well it wasn’t just a cough. He puked all over Mike’s bag and some other ladies bag. Yes it was gross but there was nothing to do but laugh. Back to the goat. Of course, animals have to pee-well it got all over Mike and Sash’s feet. It was seriously so gross that all we could do was laugh (again). We got to Manatuto and decided to get off the anguna and try to hitch-hike. Well we walked up the street and found Randy, Emily, and Annie also waiting for a ride. We waited about 30 minutes and no ride came. To our embarrassment the SAME anguna drove by and stopped and got us. We were of course laughing. So about 1.5 hours more of goat crying and peeing (thank god the baby had gotten off) we get into Dili and are famished. So we go to One More Bar (a Malae bar). We get pizza and fries-so yummy!
At this point we head back to the PC office and are going to catch a taxi home. It is dark and the taxi would be like $10 and we would need 2. As we are walking to find it we see Joe and Jay (the creepy guy). We talk to them and find out Nelson (the training director) gave them and about 5 others permission to stay the night. We are like what?!?! So we call Nelson because we had ran into him about 20 minutes before and he didn’t say anything about staying the night. But he let us when we called him. We then called Alfonso who tells our families that we won’t be home.
The next morning we had to be at the PC office at 7am. We headed back to Balibar and had a 2 hour debrief session. Then we had to head back down to Dili to interview NGOs. I went with Alfonso to the only psychological facility in ET. It was very interesting for me. I am going to try to arrange something on my own to work with them. We come back to the office and a lady from CARE came and spoke to us. It is so encouraging to hear form other people. I know I can make this my experience.
Today I also had my interview with Richard, the APCD. He is basically my boss. He told me with some certainty that I will be going to a beach site. I am so excited to find out where I will be going. We all are and there is a lot of gossip about it.
After my meeting we took a taxi to the anguna station and hoped on another anguna. Well about 10 minutes from my house it started pouring! And who was in a white t-shirt, me! I was successful at keeping myself covered. I ran home and that was when I felt “it” The last few days were so chaotic and adventurous and n but I as so glad to be “home.” Joe’s host kids were screaming my name, the baby smiled when she saw me, I taught her to play peek-a-boo. I just sat and “talked” to Anto and Ama. They were all so happy to see me and talk to me. It felt so good. I had not had this feeling yet. It was great. Again, I just having this feeling of this is where I need to be.
I know also why I am so happy. I heard Bon Jovi TWICE today and the taxi driver was wearing a Bon Jovi t-shirt!
August 6, 2005
9:15 AM
It is a beautiful morning here. The sky is vibrant baby blue with no clouds. The sun is warm but not intense. I am sitting on a front step surrounded by beautiful green plants o all different sizes. Every few seconds I here roosters crow (I have come to strongly dislike them and want them to shut-up). I am so lucky-lucky to be here. Seeing the smiling faces feeling the sun beat down on me, it is just so amazing. I want to paint a picture with words so that years later I can remember this feeling. It smells like dirt but not bad dirt, it is earthy. Straight ahead of me is a small white house, with its door open, it has a tin roof and two windows. It is simple but nice. In front of the house there is a small dirt road with pot holes and rocks. Then moving closer to me is a wood fence with an opening directly in front of me. There is a train that leads to the step where I am sitting. There is a tree with magenta flowers and small green leafy plants. A young girl is holding a baby boy who just looks at me and smiles. He is giggling now. He is so happy. Everybody who walks by is so happy. They all smile and say “Bondia.” I can’t speak with them but saying “bondia” is enough. The smile is enough. To the right of where I sit there is a bunch of trees-is is very shady and foresty looking. There is also a random satellite dish. There are palm trees every so often. The natural green has become my new favorite color. They path leads straight up to the house and the step where I am sitting. I am here, ready to make a change, ready to make my small contribution to the world that has been so good to me. It is much more clear now. My place in the world is definite. I want to help, I am going to help.
Same day 9:46 pm.
Today was another wonderful day in ET. After I wrote the previous entry we just sat around and talked. Megan went to Rice (where Lila is going). Talking about Lila really made me realize how much she means to me. She is a wonderful person and I know she looks up to me a lot and I really haven’t ever had that before.
Around 10:30 the rest of the Malaes (Ally, Mike, Sash, and Emily) came over and we walked to Emily’s project. She got a grant through PC to help the mission here fix up a building for a library, reading room, restaurant, and art center. It is a really beautiful facility. After that we shopped at the kiosk and then came back to Megan’s. We made (from scratch) tortillas. They were so easy and turned out SO good. When the tortillas were done we went back to Emily’s and cooked some more. We made tacos and they were soooo good. She made a green bean with peanut dish and then tomatoes and onions AND WE HAD CHEESE! They were SO delicious and I would rank it as one of the best things I have EVER eaten (I feel like I keep saying that about every meal we make together!) So after the meal we were really tired and satisfied. We just sat around some more and then walked/hiked to Emily’s friend’s house. It was about 15 minutes of up and down hills, not super hard but just hard enough. We got there and her friend Adalina (I like that name) was so sweet. She is 23 and has a 1 year old baby boy. She is beautiful and the baby is one of the cutest kids I’ve every seen. Her mom invited us into her house. It was a house that is on stilts. We sat up there and she showed us the tais (the traditional woven fabric) that she is making for Emily. Sash wanted to see how the mom made the tais so she took it down and showed us. She hooks herself in and somehow weaves the thread through-I took pictures because it is hard to explain. So we just hung out and talked until around 6 then we had to head back. The walk back was probably my best experience thus far. We started off with just us and Adalina and a couple kids. As we walked on-more and more kids joined us. They were a riot! We would make grunting noises at them and they would do the same back. It was hilarious. Every so often Sash would turn around and start to chase them. They loved it. Eventually we taught them high-5 and the rock. By the time we said goodbye there were about 30 kids all trying to give us high 5 and grunting at us. I know they want s to doing something “sustainable” but I feel that just that walk home had a significant impact on those kids. Just playing with them showed them that foreigners are good. I am so happy. Anyway we made it back and good a good soup (we were still all pretty full from our WONDERFUL lunch)
Megan made this dessert and my stomach is paying now. It is called brigadero-it is just sweetened condensed milk that you heat up and it becomes caramelized. She put chocolate and cinnamon in it. So good but now my tummy is doing flips. Then we did the dishes and walked back to Megan’s.
We go back to Balibar tomorrow. I don’t want to go. I had so much fun here. I feel very lucky to have been placed with the volunteers I was placed with. I feel so right with everything here and this truly is the first time I’ve felt this ay. It is really an amazing feeling to be living my dream. I wanted to see and experience a world different from my own and I set my mind to it-now here I am. Wow-just having this totally happy revelation about living my dream right now!
It is a beautiful morning here. The sky is vibrant baby blue with no clouds. The sun is warm but not intense. I am sitting on a front step surrounded by beautiful green plants o all different sizes. Every few seconds I here roosters crow (I have come to strongly dislike them and want them to shut-up). I am so lucky-lucky to be here. Seeing the smiling faces feeling the sun beat down on me, it is just so amazing. I want to paint a picture with words so that years later I can remember this feeling. It smells like dirt but not bad dirt, it is earthy. Straight ahead of me is a small white house, with its door open, it has a tin roof and two windows. It is simple but nice. In front of the house there is a small dirt road with pot holes and rocks. Then moving closer to me is a wood fence with an opening directly in front of me. There is a train that leads to the step where I am sitting. There is a tree with magenta flowers and small green leafy plants. A young girl is holding a baby boy who just looks at me and smiles. He is giggling now. He is so happy. Everybody who walks by is so happy. They all smile and say “Bondia.” I can’t speak with them but saying “bondia” is enough. The smile is enough. To the right of where I sit there is a bunch of trees-is is very shady and foresty looking. There is also a random satellite dish. There are palm trees every so often. The natural green has become my new favorite color. They path leads straight up to the house and the step where I am sitting. I am here, ready to make a change, ready to make my small contribution to the world that has been so good to me. It is much more clear now. My place in the world is definite. I want to help, I am going to help.
Same day 9:46 pm.
Today was another wonderful day in ET. After I wrote the previous entry we just sat around and talked. Megan went to Rice (where Lila is going). Talking about Lila really made me realize how much she means to me. She is a wonderful person and I know she looks up to me a lot and I really haven’t ever had that before.
Around 10:30 the rest of the Malaes (Ally, Mike, Sash, and Emily) came over and we walked to Emily’s project. She got a grant through PC to help the mission here fix up a building for a library, reading room, restaurant, and art center. It is a really beautiful facility. After that we shopped at the kiosk and then came back to Megan’s. We made (from scratch) tortillas. They were so easy and turned out SO good. When the tortillas were done we went back to Emily’s and cooked some more. We made tacos and they were soooo good. She made a green bean with peanut dish and then tomatoes and onions AND WE HAD CHEESE! They were SO delicious and I would rank it as one of the best things I have EVER eaten (I feel like I keep saying that about every meal we make together!) So after the meal we were really tired and satisfied. We just sat around some more and then walked/hiked to Emily’s friend’s house. It was about 15 minutes of up and down hills, not super hard but just hard enough. We got there and her friend Adalina (I like that name) was so sweet. She is 23 and has a 1 year old baby boy. She is beautiful and the baby is one of the cutest kids I’ve every seen. Her mom invited us into her house. It was a house that is on stilts. We sat up there and she showed us the tais (the traditional woven fabric) that she is making for Emily. Sash wanted to see how the mom made the tais so she took it down and showed us. She hooks herself in and somehow weaves the thread through-I took pictures because it is hard to explain. So we just hung out and talked until around 6 then we had to head back. The walk back was probably my best experience thus far. We started off with just us and Adalina and a couple kids. As we walked on-more and more kids joined us. They were a riot! We would make grunting noises at them and they would do the same back. It was hilarious. Every so often Sash would turn around and start to chase them. They loved it. Eventually we taught them high-5 and the rock. By the time we said goodbye there were about 30 kids all trying to give us high 5 and grunting at us. I know they want s to doing something “sustainable” but I feel that just that walk home had a significant impact on those kids. Just playing with them showed them that foreigners are good. I am so happy. Anyway we made it back and good a good soup (we were still all pretty full from our WONDERFUL lunch)
Megan made this dessert and my stomach is paying now. It is called brigadero-it is just sweetened condensed milk that you heat up and it becomes caramelized. She put chocolate and cinnamon in it. So good but now my tummy is doing flips. Then we did the dishes and walked back to Megan’s.
We go back to Balibar tomorrow. I don’t want to go. I had so much fun here. I feel very lucky to have been placed with the volunteers I was placed with. I feel so right with everything here and this truly is the first time I’ve felt this ay. It is really an amazing feeling to be living my dream. I wanted to see and experience a world different from my own and I set my mind to it-now here I am. Wow-just having this totally happy revelation about living my dream right now!
Thursday, August 5, 2010
August 5, 2005
We did nothing today except walk, cook, talk, and eat. Seriously I hvaen’t eaten this much since I Have been here. Emily made this fabulous soup with carrots, sweet potatoes, beans, mushrooms, and green stuff. It was delicious! So we ate that for lunch and dinner. And for breakfast we made pancakes with Nutella!!!
I swear I haven’t laughed this much in a long time. I am having such a wonderful time. They are all such a wonderful support for me and I Have never felt more at ease and more myself around a group of people.
I swear I haven’t laughed this much in a long time. I am having such a wonderful time. They are all such a wonderful support for me and I Have never felt more at ease and more myself around a group of people.
August 4, 2005
So we made it to our volunteer site visit. I am with Jessica at a PCV named Megan’s house right in the middle of Timor. We are up in the mountains and it is beautiful. We really haven’t explored the village yet but its gorgeous so far. The Land Cruiser we took here sure had to work hard! The roads are horrible! The driver was wonderful (he works for Peace Corps and it seems like all he does is drive). The only issue I had was the seats in the car are two benches facing each other so I got kind of car sick. It was SOOOO bumpy!!! It took about 4 hours-we stopped in Manatuto to have lunch then headed the rest of the way up the mountains. There are 5 of us here staying with 2 volunteers. Sash, Mike, and Ally are with Emily and Jessica and I are down the hill with Megan. For dinner we cooked spaghetti and bread. It was so good! Emily lives kind of on her own, it’s a really cool set up. She has her own living quarters in front of a family that lives separate in the back. She cooks for herself. Megan lives with a family but she cooks for herself. It’s so inspiring to see what they are actually doing and how they are living.
We also had chocolate cake, OH MY GOD!!!! I didn’t realize how much I missed chocolate till tonight! After cake we just sat around and talked a till about 9:45 when we walked back to Megan’s house.
We also got to eat Doritos today!!!
We also had chocolate cake, OH MY GOD!!!! I didn’t realize how much I missed chocolate till tonight! After cake we just sat around and talked a till about 9:45 when we walked back to Megan’s house.
We also got to eat Doritos today!!!
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
August 3, 2005
Dr. Bill’s Stress Talk
“You are exactly where you are supposed to be to learn the lessons you are supposed to learn” Dr. Bill
Learn to enjoy the ride-humor.
You will learn it or not learn it but it will keep coming up until you learn it.
Learn to accept your limitations, strengths, weaknesses
Accept that change is slow
Balance work and play
Don’t let problems add up
Difficulties spare no one
Unhook your self from things in the past-don’t need to drag it around with you.
We have the time now to deal with it all
Accept what you cannont change (which is just about everything)
One child…is that worth my two years?
Live for the day.
“If I knew better, I wouldn’t change a thing” Train, Swaying
I am much better today. I had a good cry last night. I talked to Randy for a little bit and then today the doctor gave a talk and it was exactly what I needed to hear. The previous page are some of what he said. I particularly love the first quote. It is so true. There is nothing given to me in life that I can’t handle. Things will be hard but that doesn’t mean I can’t handle them.
“You are exactly where you are supposed to be to learn the lessons you are supposed to learn” Dr. Bill
Learn to enjoy the ride-humor.
You will learn it or not learn it but it will keep coming up until you learn it.
Learn to accept your limitations, strengths, weaknesses
Accept that change is slow
Balance work and play
Don’t let problems add up
Difficulties spare no one
Unhook your self from things in the past-don’t need to drag it around with you.
We have the time now to deal with it all
Accept what you cannont change (which is just about everything)
One child…is that worth my two years?
Live for the day.
“If I knew better, I wouldn’t change a thing” Train, Swaying
I am much better today. I had a good cry last night. I talked to Randy for a little bit and then today the doctor gave a talk and it was exactly what I needed to hear. The previous page are some of what he said. I particularly love the first quote. It is so true. There is nothing given to me in life that I can’t handle. Things will be hard but that doesn’t mean I can’t handle them.
Monday, August 2, 2010
August 1, 2005
Today has been a little rough. I am starting to feel the homesickness really kick in. On top of being homesick dealing with Peace Corps is sometimes frustrating. It really helps to have the other volunteers to talk to though. Randy and I talked this evening and it just helped to vent to him. After we had dinner and talked we played the longest game of UNO. On top of it being a very long game, blue and green are really hard to tell apart when you are playing by candle light. It ended up being a draw game with no one winning.
July 31, 2005
Ok! So I am going to write like the moving Momento…from the end of my day to the beginning.
I am safe in my bed after having taken my first Whippy bath because it is raining HARD and it was “way” to late when we got home (7:30 pm). But of course before I go to bed I always use the santina. Well there was a spider about the size of my palm waiting for me when I went to the santina. I promptly got Anto who promptly smooshed it with her shoe. This happened right after Randy and I had a cold dinner (which we are probably going to get sick from) by candle light because the electricity went ot 5 minutes after we got home. We all made it down the muddy slope without falling on our bums. This was after exiting the over crowded microlet (small van) where I was squashed in the back corner. The microlet had problems it had to stop about 4 times and did not always want to start again, but it did and thank goodness because when the car wasn’t in motion the stench of body odor as almost too much for me to handle. We were lucky enough to even get the microlet after my fierce host mom kicked 4 people out of the way for us and bargained the price down from $1 to $.50 per person. She also shewed a drunk guy away from us and wouldn’t let anyone come within 5 feet of us. We had waiting for about 1.5 hours for a car to come and while waiting we ran into my host mom and TC’s host mom at the bus station (it may have actually been easier had we not ran into them because we would of just taken a taxi but they refused). They were in town visiting Randy’s mom who is at Dili National Hospital because she is sick but I can’t figure out what she has. We think it is bad though because the family seems really sad.
I am actually kid of scared right- the spider and the rain and the microlet ride-this truly is a Peace Corps experience. I am going to try to sleep but my nerves are going so I don’t know if it will happen
I am safe in my bed after having taken my first Whippy bath because it is raining HARD and it was “way” to late when we got home (7:30 pm). But of course before I go to bed I always use the santina. Well there was a spider about the size of my palm waiting for me when I went to the santina. I promptly got Anto who promptly smooshed it with her shoe. This happened right after Randy and I had a cold dinner (which we are probably going to get sick from) by candle light because the electricity went ot 5 minutes after we got home. We all made it down the muddy slope without falling on our bums. This was after exiting the over crowded microlet (small van) where I was squashed in the back corner. The microlet had problems it had to stop about 4 times and did not always want to start again, but it did and thank goodness because when the car wasn’t in motion the stench of body odor as almost too much for me to handle. We were lucky enough to even get the microlet after my fierce host mom kicked 4 people out of the way for us and bargained the price down from $1 to $.50 per person. She also shewed a drunk guy away from us and wouldn’t let anyone come within 5 feet of us. We had waiting for about 1.5 hours for a car to come and while waiting we ran into my host mom and TC’s host mom at the bus station (it may have actually been easier had we not ran into them because we would of just taken a taxi but they refused). They were in town visiting Randy’s mom who is at Dili National Hospital because she is sick but I can’t figure out what she has. We think it is bad though because the family seems really sad.
I am actually kid of scared right- the spider and the rain and the microlet ride-this truly is a Peace Corps experience. I am going to try to sleep but my nerves are going so I don’t know if it will happen
July 30, 2005
My pen ran out last night and there was no electricity so I couldn’t write anymore. So back to yesterday. It was just such a relief to talk to other organizations aside from PC to get a feel for what’s happening here. I am excited to get my post but I am also excited to figure out what I can do on my own. I have so many ideas. It will be a challenge to make them come true but so worth it. Off to language class.
So I did my laundry today and then deskansed (rested). Then we cooked spaghetti for our families and played UNO with them. The pasta was a he success. They loved it! The hardest part was convincing them that we DID NOT have to eat rice with the pasta. It was such a foreign concept to them. The other hard thing to get across was that we all eat together. We served them first and they didn’t know what to do. Then UNO went well. Funny story- to say “pick up cards” in Tetun, the word is “dada” Randy kept saying “tata” instead and that means "eat" in Tetun, everyone got a kick out of that mix up!
I am starting to get closer to my host family and neighbors. TC has a sister named Carmalita and she loves me and always sings with me. His other sister is Joahina, she is probably 12 and super into UNO, it is cute. They love that we are there Malaes.
So I did my laundry today and then deskansed (rested). Then we cooked spaghetti for our families and played UNO with them. The pasta was a he success. They loved it! The hardest part was convincing them that we DID NOT have to eat rice with the pasta. It was such a foreign concept to them. The other hard thing to get across was that we all eat together. We served them first and they didn’t know what to do. Then UNO went well. Funny story- to say “pick up cards” in Tetun, the word is “dada” Randy kept saying “tata” instead and that means "eat" in Tetun, everyone got a kick out of that mix up!
I am starting to get closer to my host family and neighbors. TC has a sister named Carmalita and she loves me and always sings with me. His other sister is Joahina, she is probably 12 and super into UNO, it is cute. They love that we are there Malaes.
July 29, 2005
My day was actually really good. We went to Dili and I did 2 interviews with NGOs. I am so …
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
July 28, 2005
Ok, so I have NO idea what just happened, I Haven’t processed it yet. I just got back from (what I can observe and understand) what seemed to be the East Timorese Godfathers dinner. Let me explain…Anto asked me if I wanted to go with her to help her our neighbor do something. I say “sure.” We go over there and there is a man sitting down and she greets him and kisses his ring. I meet him and he speaks limited English. For a while it is just me, him, his brother-in-law and some lady. Then slowly all these men started showing up. He introduces them all to me as family. So then I have tea and a donut (so good). I was there for about 30 minutes when my host mom called me home because I did not shut my door-she is very paranoid. As I am coming back-Randy is heading to the neighbors house with his dad. I go back with them. We are there for another 30 minutes when Joe and TC show up. Soon after Anto comes and gets me and Randy to eat dinner. (Randy’s mom is in the hospital so he is always eating with me). We eat and the go back to the neighbors, yet again. When we get back there everyone is quiet and listening to the “Godfather” talk. He was definitely talking politics but I wasn’t sure exactly what he was saying. He talked for a good 45 minutes-then asked if anyone wanted to voice their opinions. A couple people did. He told Randy (in Portuguese) that he wants to educate these people (his brothers) because they don’t agree with him ad they are family and because he doesn’t want hat happened before in East Timor to happen again. He is in the opposing party (FTD) than what is in office now (FRETLIN). He used to be the chief of the suco we live in He was imprisoned 4 times (once for 3 years). He was a principal and the secretary of his political party. He may have his PhD but I am not sure. I think I may live with a mob family! I feel safe here and very protected. I just don’t want anyone to associate me with anything bad (like what if they are mobsters and cause we were at the meeting people think I am too)
It is so interesting. They honestly treat me like a man here, I was the ONLY woman sitting in the circle of about 20 men. I would have been laughed at had I tried to help clean or cook. Wow, that was strange, I just wish I understood more.
The rest of my day was good. Class was class. We played volleyball afterwards and it was a ton of fun. We are going to Dili tomorrow, I promise not to eat as much junk food this time!
It is so interesting. They honestly treat me like a man here, I was the ONLY woman sitting in the circle of about 20 men. I would have been laughed at had I tried to help clean or cook. Wow, that was strange, I just wish I understood more.
The rest of my day was good. Class was class. We played volleyball afterwards and it was a ton of fun. We are going to Dili tomorrow, I promise not to eat as much junk food this time!
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
July 27, 2005
I just went out to use the santina and Anto tells me that my friend is down at Joe’s house and he needs to walk home but he can’t because it is dar, and that is not good. So she asks me to go down there and tell him. The friend she is talking about is Dustin, another trainee and he lives about 15 minutes up the hill. Anto also tells me he is drunk. So I go down to Joes-he isn’t drunk, he told his host dad he would be home by 10. His host dad is Anto’s uncle (I think). Everyone is super scared about him walking home and rightfully so. They are responsible for us and it is REALLY dark. They won’t let Dustin go alone so Joe and TC’s host dads go with him. Anto and I come back to the house and Ama (my host mom) says to me that they can’t walk alone because there is a bad house by the church. So, she goes in her room and pulls out a HUGE machete-sticks it under her arm and storms out to follow them. I was like, WHOA!!! I asked and Anto said she was going to walk with them. She is such a cool old lady. So now Anto is scared. I think they will be okay but I am nervous. As I am writing this they have not gotten back yet. I am going to listen to some music and wait for her to come back. This cracks me up but at the same time really makes me feel safe. No one is going to mess with my host mom!
Sunday, July 25, 2010
July 25, 2005
Today wasn’t really eventful at all, we just had class. I seriously have become so cynical and not compassionate but I still really want to be here. I want to help but I am being realistic-I had this fantasy before of helping so much here-it isn’t going to happen. Sure I am going to make a difference but it isn’t going to be this he noticeable life changing thing. I definitely have changed already and in exactly the opposite ay that I thought I would. I imagined coming here, and being inspired by the people to do all this good. But instead, I’ve realized these people are going to live the way they want and who am I to change anyone. Sure I will help them realize small things (i.e. wash your hands before you eat or cover your mouth when you cough) but that’s it. I am not sad, I am more relieved that I don’t have such big shoes to fill. I don’t know what I will end up learning here but I will enjoy it and grow from it.
Sorry-had to vent a little, now on to the funniest thing that has happened here thus far.
Ok, Joe has been saying TC sings like a “manu moras” (sick chicken) and he has also been saying other phrases with the word manu in it. Manu in Tetun means chicken. WELL, tonight Randy and I were also informed that Manu is an insult or bad word. It is obvious now why. Joe’s mom wasn’t too happy and so we told him. He had no idea and was really embarrassed. They weren’t really mad, its just not good especially since there are so many kids around. Just one of those language things, but boy was it funny when we told him!
Sorry-had to vent a little, now on to the funniest thing that has happened here thus far.
Ok, Joe has been saying TC sings like a “manu moras” (sick chicken) and he has also been saying other phrases with the word manu in it. Manu in Tetun means chicken. WELL, tonight Randy and I were also informed that Manu is an insult or bad word. It is obvious now why. Joe’s mom wasn’t too happy and so we told him. He had no idea and was really embarrassed. They weren’t really mad, its just not good especially since there are so many kids around. Just one of those language things, but boy was it funny when we told him!
July 24, 2005
We went to mass today, then did laundry, went to some funeral thing, I am pretty sure it was an extension of last weeks funeral. I feel like our families bring us along just to show us off. We could probably charge admissions and make a lot of money. People just stare at us. Our language isn’t good enough to just have casual conversations so we talk amongst ourselves and get looked at and sometimes touched by small filthy, snot nosed, flea covered children. Wow-I have become very cynical. One mom even told her kids Para hare malae (stop looking at the foreigners). We were on display for about 2 then returned home. It started raining really hard. Alfonso, the language teacher, came over and we talked for a while. I (he) figured out whose baby the little girl is. She is Anto’s baby. She got pregnant in high school and the dad ran off. He said it happens a lot here.
After a while we went and had dinner at Joe’s house. Alfonso misses his girlfriend, it is really cute.
After a while we went and had dinner at Joe’s house. Alfonso misses his girlfriend, it is really cute.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
July 22, 2005
Today was uneventful: more miscommunication on the part of the wonderful PC staff. I have really learned a lot though and I don’t let things that don’t go my way really get to me anymore. We had lunch with Gene (the CD) it was fine. Well I am going to read and try to fall asleep!
July 21, 2005
Ah, first of many stomach aches that I am sure to come. This one is all my fault though, we came to Dili and I gorged on American food! I have a slight fever but it is mainly the impending feeling of throwing up that I am feeling.
Other than my having my first experience with being sick my day wasn’t too exciting-just Tetun and then technical training. Something did happen on the way home from class though. So I always walk home with TC, Joe and Randy, right? Well rewind to this morning, there as this “drunk” or crazy guy near our house. The word they kept using was bulak and it translates to crazy but they said he was drunk (probably a little of both). Well, my host mom yelled at him and Anto told me that he gets arrested a lot. No we meet this guy right before we go down the hill to our houses. He shakes all our hands (TC is on guard now). We proceed down the hill and the guys make me go first because the bulak was following us. I walked straight into my house with Randy and we tell my family that the guy is following us. All of the kids (probably about 20-25 of them and all of the women start screaming at the man and chase him away. It was so cool, I felt so important. They tell us to integrate so our family will care about you and protect you. Well my family did just that! I am carrying a whistle everywhere I go now and TC keeps checking on me. I don’t feel unsafe at all and I am so glad to know that all of these people care about me.
Oh to Gimpy now, she is doing well-nice and fat. She knows her name. We were just mentioning her and she came running out of the bedroom-it was very cut.
I am starting to really like it here. Anto is so nice. We talked about me leaving today and she said she is going to miss me. They want to send coffee home to my mom and dad.
So, I think Saturday night I am having a slumber party at Erins.
Other than my having my first experience with being sick my day wasn’t too exciting-just Tetun and then technical training. Something did happen on the way home from class though. So I always walk home with TC, Joe and Randy, right? Well rewind to this morning, there as this “drunk” or crazy guy near our house. The word they kept using was bulak and it translates to crazy but they said he was drunk (probably a little of both). Well, my host mom yelled at him and Anto told me that he gets arrested a lot. No we meet this guy right before we go down the hill to our houses. He shakes all our hands (TC is on guard now). We proceed down the hill and the guys make me go first because the bulak was following us. I walked straight into my house with Randy and we tell my family that the guy is following us. All of the kids (probably about 20-25 of them and all of the women start screaming at the man and chase him away. It was so cool, I felt so important. They tell us to integrate so our family will care about you and protect you. Well my family did just that! I am carrying a whistle everywhere I go now and TC keeps checking on me. I don’t feel unsafe at all and I am so glad to know that all of these people care about me.
Oh to Gimpy now, she is doing well-nice and fat. She knows her name. We were just mentioning her and she came running out of the bedroom-it was very cut.
I am starting to really like it here. Anto is so nice. We talked about me leaving today and she said she is going to miss me. They want to send coffee home to my mom and dad.
So, I think Saturday night I am having a slumber party at Erins.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
July 19, 2005
So it is my birthday and my day was pretty good. I had ifirina again but they fried it this time and it was much better. We had language for 3 hours but it was really good this time. Then we had to go do interviews but Barry (the health trainer) was so disorganized that we had to spend a long time looking for a translator. I got angry but got over it. I really have to work on not always being in control of the situation. It is really hard to do that but whole experience is going to improve my ability to sit back and relax.
I had a quick lunch and then we had 4 hours of health training. I voiced my opinion about how disorganized it is. They say they are trying to teach us about how the culture is here and to get used to it but I think that is a bunch of bull. We all wanted to do something for my birthday but because our family expects us home we just got to hang out a little bit.
Oh, I talked to Mom this morning. It was so good to hear that she is doing okay.
Anyway, I got home and took pictures of my house and the kids to e-mail home tomorrow (hopefully). Then I showered and just talked to Antonia.
Ok Gimpy update: She is doing okay. They fed her tonight and I think because she is so malnourished she ate to much and her stomach bloated. She walked around a little bit and then came in the house. My host mom told me she slept with her. I am worried about her stomach though. We are going to give her a bath and start taking her places with us.
So tomorrow we are going to Dili and I am really excited because I get to eat real food like chocolate and coke and beer! I am going to stock up on munchy food and hide it in my room. I eat well her-my sweet buds are just feeling left out!
Time to hit the sack, we have to be at class at 7 am!
I had a quick lunch and then we had 4 hours of health training. I voiced my opinion about how disorganized it is. They say they are trying to teach us about how the culture is here and to get used to it but I think that is a bunch of bull. We all wanted to do something for my birthday but because our family expects us home we just got to hang out a little bit.
Oh, I talked to Mom this morning. It was so good to hear that she is doing okay.
Anyway, I got home and took pictures of my house and the kids to e-mail home tomorrow (hopefully). Then I showered and just talked to Antonia.
Ok Gimpy update: She is doing okay. They fed her tonight and I think because she is so malnourished she ate to much and her stomach bloated. She walked around a little bit and then came in the house. My host mom told me she slept with her. I am worried about her stomach though. We are going to give her a bath and start taking her places with us.
So tomorrow we are going to Dili and I am really excited because I get to eat real food like chocolate and coke and beer! I am going to stock up on munchy food and hide it in my room. I eat well her-my sweet buds are just feeling left out!
Time to hit the sack, we have to be at class at 7 am!
July 18, 2005
Today went really well. Lets see-I must be really lazy because I slept till 6:30! I had such a good nights rest though thanks to Tylenol PM. Tonight the weird dreams came-malaria medicine night. When I woke up the roosters were crowing, pigs squealing and a lot of other random noises. I had coffee and cassava (Ifarina?)-it was so hard to eat. It has no taste and is like a raw but boiled potato. It sucks all the moister out of your most so I just chased every bite with coffee. I think they got the idea that I didn’t like it. We left for class at 7:30 and we got to the “training center”(Holy cow-it is so windy I am scared-it sounds like the house is going to fall down). Anyway, when we got to the school there was no one in charge there and then one trainer showed up but since the head guy (Nelson) wasn’t there we walked to a kiosk and bought these muffin/not sweet funnel cake things that were so good! I definitely needed it to compensate for the cassava. We got back to the school and realized that it is in use so we walked up a hill to have class at a woman’s house. Then we had language-Alfonso is my teacher along with Joe, TC and Randy. So after language we walked home and ate with our families and then walked back and had more Tetun. I talked to mom for 1 minute and then we got cut off. We had some Tech Training (the health part).
Around 5:30 pm we headed home. I took a shower and then helped Anto cook. She laughed at me and didn’t want me to but I just kept saying I want to help. It was fun. I fried bananas. Then I studied with Paula (the little girl). She copies whatever I write. We had dinner-some tofu with rice and it was actually really good. Then I just hung out some more and practiced speaking Tetun and now I am safely under my net with one light on that says on all night.
Now for the best part-I have a puppy already! So there was this puppy that Randy’s host kid found with a broken leg (I am not sure but he may have broken it!) She is tiny and light brown and has really big ears. My host mom tried to fix its leg and we think she popped it back in place and it is just sore now. So at lunch I first saw the puppy and I gave it water and it ate the food that a baby dropped. When I got home at dinner she was at my house. I have her water and Joe looked at her leg. I kept saying that I like dogs and I am sad that the dog is hurt. Dogs are treated kind of like chickens here. If it weren’t for Randy and I they wouldn’t have done anything for the puppy. But Anto fed the dog and I gave it water AND they are letting it sleep in the house. My host mom (Catarina) even wiped some type of medicine on its leg. I think it was cocont water with eucalyptus in it. We named her Gimpy. I really hope noting bad happens to her but I am preparing myself for the worst. She is so cute though, I will try to get a pictures soon. Because she is so young she comes to us. I really think that they think we are crazy for caring so much for the dog. It doesn’t phase them to hit it or be mean to any animal and that is really hard for me to get used to.
Around 5:30 pm we headed home. I took a shower and then helped Anto cook. She laughed at me and didn’t want me to but I just kept saying I want to help. It was fun. I fried bananas. Then I studied with Paula (the little girl). She copies whatever I write. We had dinner-some tofu with rice and it was actually really good. Then I just hung out some more and practiced speaking Tetun and now I am safely under my net with one light on that says on all night.
Now for the best part-I have a puppy already! So there was this puppy that Randy’s host kid found with a broken leg (I am not sure but he may have broken it!) She is tiny and light brown and has really big ears. My host mom tried to fix its leg and we think she popped it back in place and it is just sore now. So at lunch I first saw the puppy and I gave it water and it ate the food that a baby dropped. When I got home at dinner she was at my house. I have her water and Joe looked at her leg. I kept saying that I like dogs and I am sad that the dog is hurt. Dogs are treated kind of like chickens here. If it weren’t for Randy and I they wouldn’t have done anything for the puppy. But Anto fed the dog and I gave it water AND they are letting it sleep in the house. My host mom (Catarina) even wiped some type of medicine on its leg. I think it was cocont water with eucalyptus in it. We named her Gimpy. I really hope noting bad happens to her but I am preparing myself for the worst. She is so cute though, I will try to get a pictures soon. Because she is so young she comes to us. I really think that they think we are crazy for caring so much for the dog. It doesn’t phase them to hit it or be mean to any animal and that is really hard for me to get used to.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
July 17, 2005
First night-DONE! I was woken by what seems like 1,000 chickens that won't stop. Now there are lizards on the ceiling. I'm gonna make it!
So Day 2 is over -I am much more together than last night. I think its the coffee (or lack of tonight) I suceeded in explaining that if I drink coffee at night I can't sleep. Hau hemu cafe hau la toba! So today started off with roosters and I was talked about as the lazy one when I didn't wake up till 6:15! We had bread and coffee for b-fast and then I went to mass. It was interesting. The church sits on top of a hill overlooking the ocean. It is a solid building-no gaps; there are only 3 rows of benches so most people stand. There are cheap looking Jesus and Mary pictures up on the wall, you know the tacky ones like at the 99 Cent store. The women stand on one sidemen on the other. All the kids are up front against the wall. There speaker system consists of a wireless mic somehow connected to this tiny boom box. The Timorese can sing- well at least they can sing LOUD! Antonia (my host sister) has quite a powerful voice. I understood nothing from the service except the father specifically thanking us for being there and that God loves us (because he said that in English). So after the service we were all so happy to see each other (most of the volunteers attended) that we all just clumped up and started comparing our stories. We are all going through something so I feel ok. The father had us, our language teachers and the chief's family over for lunch. I just ate rice-all the rest was meat (including dog, cow lung and pig with the skin and hairs still attached). I didn't see it but I get sick thinking about it! So after lunch me TC, Joe and Randy walked home with Alfonso (a language teacher) he has 9 years of English so he is good but he pretends not to be because they tell him to. We bought detergent from a kiosk. They are these stands that are set up along the road. They have flip-flops for 60 cents, candy for 1 cent and detergent for 5 cents. We messed up and bought from the wrong kiosk. You are supposed to buy from the one that your family runs/owns and we bought from one up the street. My family owns the one right above my house. SO-we do our laundry-awkward but now I know how to do it and will never take machines for granted again. They feed me and then Randy and I went to this funeral. It is the ceremony part where women wail and cry with the body in a hot room with a lot of incense. I saw the body and then we sat outside. Some man talked to us but we couldn't understand him. The baby in the family peed all over the grandma and she didn't flinch. See I don't know if the baby belongs to the older woman (Antonia's mother) or Antonia and I don't know where the father is. I am afraid to ask and I don't know how. I'll figure it out. So we sit for 5 minutes. Oh-we also saw a 2 year old smoking a cigarette-I am not kidding!!! We left and walked back home then a bunch of other volunteers were passing by my house so I joined them and went to the President's house to hang out and play basketball. It is so bizarre, it is the President's house and all the locals just go hang out at the courts. I can't imagine just playing basketball at the White House! The gate for his house is a metal bar that can be lifted but you can also just walk around it. I don't know, it is sooo different from home. So almost all the other volunteers were there and it was great to speak English and talk about our confusion. I find it so funny house we talk like we've been here for so long even though it has only been 2 days. We stay till around 5 and I head back. When I get back I successfully take my 2nd bucket shower and when I was done the funeral procession is coming down the hill for the burial. I join Alfonso and go down this steep hill to a cemetery. The way they work is each cemetery is a for a family and then each grave is for an immediate family. They pile the bodies up in one site until it is full. So the men were taking one casket out (I think the husband) and then but the new one in and then put him back on top. They covered it and sealed it (temporarily) with cement. We lit candles and put them on the tomb and then left. I got back and ate and "talked" to my host mom. I showed them pictures from home but couldn't really explain much about them. I am under my net writing right now. It was a super long day and my legs are sore but I am glad I am getting more used to being here. I am going to sleep now so that I can wake up on time (5 AM) and am not considered lazy!
So Day 2 is over -I am much more together than last night. I think its the coffee (or lack of tonight) I suceeded in explaining that if I drink coffee at night I can't sleep. Hau hemu cafe hau la toba! So today started off with roosters and I was talked about as the lazy one when I didn't wake up till 6:15! We had bread and coffee for b-fast and then I went to mass. It was interesting. The church sits on top of a hill overlooking the ocean. It is a solid building-no gaps; there are only 3 rows of benches so most people stand. There are cheap looking Jesus and Mary pictures up on the wall, you know the tacky ones like at the 99 Cent store. The women stand on one sidemen on the other. All the kids are up front against the wall. There speaker system consists of a wireless mic somehow connected to this tiny boom box. The Timorese can sing- well at least they can sing LOUD! Antonia (my host sister) has quite a powerful voice. I understood nothing from the service except the father specifically thanking us for being there and that God loves us (because he said that in English). So after the service we were all so happy to see each other (most of the volunteers attended) that we all just clumped up and started comparing our stories. We are all going through something so I feel ok. The father had us, our language teachers and the chief's family over for lunch. I just ate rice-all the rest was meat (including dog, cow lung and pig with the skin and hairs still attached). I didn't see it but I get sick thinking about it! So after lunch me TC, Joe and Randy walked home with Alfonso (a language teacher) he has 9 years of English so he is good but he pretends not to be because they tell him to. We bought detergent from a kiosk. They are these stands that are set up along the road. They have flip-flops for 60 cents, candy for 1 cent and detergent for 5 cents. We messed up and bought from the wrong kiosk. You are supposed to buy from the one that your family runs/owns and we bought from one up the street. My family owns the one right above my house. SO-we do our laundry-awkward but now I know how to do it and will never take machines for granted again. They feed me and then Randy and I went to this funeral. It is the ceremony part where women wail and cry with the body in a hot room with a lot of incense. I saw the body and then we sat outside. Some man talked to us but we couldn't understand him. The baby in the family peed all over the grandma and she didn't flinch. See I don't know if the baby belongs to the older woman (Antonia's mother) or Antonia and I don't know where the father is. I am afraid to ask and I don't know how. I'll figure it out. So we sit for 5 minutes. Oh-we also saw a 2 year old smoking a cigarette-I am not kidding!!! We left and walked back home then a bunch of other volunteers were passing by my house so I joined them and went to the President's house to hang out and play basketball. It is so bizarre, it is the President's house and all the locals just go hang out at the courts. I can't imagine just playing basketball at the White House! The gate for his house is a metal bar that can be lifted but you can also just walk around it. I don't know, it is sooo different from home. So almost all the other volunteers were there and it was great to speak English and talk about our confusion. I find it so funny house we talk like we've been here for so long even though it has only been 2 days. We stay till around 5 and I head back. When I get back I successfully take my 2nd bucket shower and when I was done the funeral procession is coming down the hill for the burial. I join Alfonso and go down this steep hill to a cemetery. The way they work is each cemetery is a for a family and then each grave is for an immediate family. They pile the bodies up in one site until it is full. So the men were taking one casket out (I think the husband) and then but the new one in and then put him back on top. They covered it and sealed it (temporarily) with cement. We lit candles and put them on the tomb and then left. I got back and ate and "talked" to my host mom. I showed them pictures from home but couldn't really explain much about them. I am under my net writing right now. It was a super long day and my legs are sore but I am glad I am getting more used to being here. I am going to sleep now so that I can wake up on time (5 AM) and am not considered lazy!
Friday, July 16, 2010
July 16, 2005
Holy Cow!!! Ok, so I am here-oh my god is about all I have to say. I am trying to figure out how to start writing but I don't know how. I am in shock so I can't write but I need to. I know it is my fist night and I'm expected to be overwhelmed but that's an understatement. I am lying under a mosquito net in a tin shack-there is no electricity-I can't understand a thing that is said to me-I peed all over my food and I have never been looked at so much in my life. It isn't even 9 and I already called it a night simply because I had no idea what else to do. Men started coming over and I didn't feel comfortable being alone so I managed my risks and just said I tired. I have no idea who lives here. There are so many kids. This is truly going to be the hardest thing EVER. I guess Kelly already went home. Men do nothing while women scurry around every where. The walls don't touch the ceiling. I took my first bucket shower. Oh my god, if any of my friends could see me now. Be strong. It is not a house but a shanty. I really can't take it all in, I definitely will write a lot.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
July 13, 2005
Ok so today I finished my 3rd day of training. It is going really well. Yesterday we had health talks and it was pretty boring. At night Erin, James, Joe, Sash, Ally, Mike and I hung out in our room. My feelings about this are only getting better. I adore everyone of the volunteers, they are all such magnificent people. I really didn’t expect to be hanging out with them so soon. James is really cool and we relate a lot being from the LBC and all. I am so amazed that EVERYONE gets along so well. In a group of 34 that is pretty amazing.
Today I had my first Tetun lesson. I was so aggravated but at the same time I know it will come. After training was over today James, Erin, Chris, and I went with Linda to Dili. We had her take us to by cell phones-they were $100 with the sim card. She was so nice. She took us to a bakery and all around town. She paid for the food and our sim cards but we paid her back. She really showed us the giving nature of the Timorese. I text messaged mom with my number and I can’t wait for her to call.
Dili is interesting, so many of the buildings are still in ruins. It is crowded but not that gross feeling. People are just trying to make it is the feeling I get.
Today I had my first Tetun lesson. I was so aggravated but at the same time I know it will come. After training was over today James, Erin, Chris, and I went with Linda to Dili. We had her take us to by cell phones-they were $100 with the sim card. She was so nice. She took us to a bakery and all around town. She paid for the food and our sim cards but we paid her back. She really showed us the giving nature of the Timorese. I text messaged mom with my number and I can’t wait for her to call.
Dili is interesting, so many of the buildings are still in ruins. It is crowded but not that gross feeling. People are just trying to make it is the feeling I get.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
July 11, 2005
Ok so what’s happened-we arrived in Sydney Sunday at 6:45 AM. We cleared immigrations and customs and around 10 AM we had checked our bags in so we didn’t have to carry them around. Somehow we organized about 28 of us to take a bus into the city. We took one big bus and one little one. When we got there we split p. Some of s walked through a market and then went and ate at a pub. After the pub we walked up the bridge to look out over the city and opera house. We saw a rainbow. Oh my goodness, it was cold in Sydney. After we walked across the bridge we headed towards the water and got ice cream. We then walked up to the opera house. We met the bus at 3:15 because we had to get back to the airport to get checked in. It was wonderful that we got to do so much in the brief time we were in Sydney. At the airport I called Mom-she was at JJ and Bills.
We were all delirious and I hardly remember the flight to Darwin. We got into Darwin around midnight. Went straight to the room, I showered-Erin was my roommate and I went to bed. I slept well. In the morning me Erin, Dylan, and Joe walked down to the wharf. They ate kangaroo and crocodile. We walked back through down town and then headed back to the hotel. At 1:45 PM we left for the airport. Now I am on the plane to DILI!!!!!!
I am finally nervous and I can’t believe it is actually happening. The plane we are on seats only 28 people. It is so small. I really can’t believe I am actually going. No way to describe it. In about 40 minutes reality is going to hit me like a ton of bricks. This dream will finally be a reality. The next chapter of my life will have begun. Since that night in Tanzania (over 2 years ago), I knew I had to do something and now I am doing it!
I am in Dili!!! Oh my god. Seriously, this is unbelievable. It is beautiful and surreal. I don’t have words really to describe it except unbelievable. I am in awe that I am finally here. When landing we could see little villages and the coast line. When we actually landed it was all palm trees and SO green. We got off our tiny plane and were greeted by 2 Peace Corps staff and then they cleared us through customs, we got our bags and then we were greeted by other volunteers. We then squished into a Land Rover and drove through Dili. How do I describe it? Beautiful. The ocean is right there on one side and then the rest is houses and small shops. It is very run down but still beautiful. All the embassies stick out a lot. We drove through town to a hotel where we were greeted by the CD and more staff. We got to watch the sunset and it as just unbelievable. One of the most majestic sites I have ever seen and to think I am going to live here for 2 years-I am lucky!
Then we went inside and Bill (the medical guy) gave us some warnings. We also filled out a bunch of papers. We got to eat dinner and then just talked to current volunteers. I am so excited to get started. Oh BUGS already-It is a roach or something0in the bathroom, good thing I’m not Lindsay!
We were all delirious and I hardly remember the flight to Darwin. We got into Darwin around midnight. Went straight to the room, I showered-Erin was my roommate and I went to bed. I slept well. In the morning me Erin, Dylan, and Joe walked down to the wharf. They ate kangaroo and crocodile. We walked back through down town and then headed back to the hotel. At 1:45 PM we left for the airport. Now I am on the plane to DILI!!!!!!
I am finally nervous and I can’t believe it is actually happening. The plane we are on seats only 28 people. It is so small. I really can’t believe I am actually going. No way to describe it. In about 40 minutes reality is going to hit me like a ton of bricks. This dream will finally be a reality. The next chapter of my life will have begun. Since that night in Tanzania (over 2 years ago), I knew I had to do something and now I am doing it!
I am in Dili!!! Oh my god. Seriously, this is unbelievable. It is beautiful and surreal. I don’t have words really to describe it except unbelievable. I am in awe that I am finally here. When landing we could see little villages and the coast line. When we actually landed it was all palm trees and SO green. We got off our tiny plane and were greeted by 2 Peace Corps staff and then they cleared us through customs, we got our bags and then we were greeted by other volunteers. We then squished into a Land Rover and drove through Dili. How do I describe it? Beautiful. The ocean is right there on one side and then the rest is houses and small shops. It is very run down but still beautiful. All the embassies stick out a lot. We drove through town to a hotel where we were greeted by the CD and more staff. We got to watch the sunset and it as just unbelievable. One of the most majestic sites I have ever seen and to think I am going to live here for 2 years-I am lucky!
Then we went inside and Bill (the medical guy) gave us some warnings. We also filled out a bunch of papers. We got to eat dinner and then just talked to current volunteers. I am so excited to get started. Oh BUGS already-It is a roach or something0in the bathroom, good thing I’m not Lindsay!
July 8, 2005
I am sitting on the plane waiting to take off. I expected to be much more emotional than I am. I said goodbye at the hotel and it wasn’t as horrific as I imagined. Everyone was there-Mom, Linds, Kisha, Scott, Dad, Alla, and Ozzy! I was kind of rushed so it was a blur but like I said I didn’t cry as much as I thought I would. It wasn’t the long drawn out goodbye but I think that was better because I am not as emotional now-I think may be that it hasn’t hit me yet. I am so excited-having everyone (other PCVs) here really helped. I feel so right doing this and being here. This is absolutely the right thing for me to be doing.
July 7, 2005
My first official Peace Corps journal entry, I can’t believe I am here at staging. It is so nice to know that I am not alone-everyone is going through the same thing and I finally have people to really relate to. Staging was just a bunch of info that I already knew and meeting everyone. Oh my god-I leave tomorrow.
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