7:33 pm So I am such a loser-in bed at 7:30-I don’t plan on sleeping yet but I need some me time, not to mention I have a little fever (100) but that’s after IB profen.
Today we were in Dili-AGAIN. We went to Arte Moris which is basically an art school but not really. It is a compound where anybody can come “do art” They have theater, music, painting, sculptures. About 30 people live there (for free) and do their art. They have a music room where they can record. It is the only established place of its kind in ET. It is amazing. We didn’t hear any music or see any theater but the art was fabulous. Like I am not usually enthralled or interested by paintings but these were so cool-I am going to try to get one and send it home at some point. They are having their first ever theater conference in a couple weeks-we are going to try to go. The theater group is called Bebe Bolak (crazy goat) and they work on doing plays that double has public service (a lot of health issues) announcements. The Galaxy-the music group that records there is super popular here now and they do the same type of education based music. It is an amazing set up and they 1st place I have been where I wasn’t stared at for being a foreigner-they were all so nice there.
So have that we had pizza and then medical talks the rest of the afternoon. I feel icky so I just wanted to be home.
Oh-they are being so quiet, it is so wonderful.
My host mom is also asleep but she was up all last night cause some super father (priest) from India died a couple days ago. He has lived here since 1947-crazy!
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
August 17, 2005
8:18 pm I HAVE MY SITE PLACEMENT!!!! ALAS it is…that’s all I know for now. It is small “city” on the south coast…it is supposedly beautiful but I will really get to see in less than one week. My only fear is no cell receptions but then I get a satellite phone and cal call home for free! I am in another world-so happy but so nervous. This compares to 3 other times in my life: going to college, going to SAS and coming here. All worked out beautifully as I know this will. I am so happy I am near the water. Being near the beach gives me so much happiness and its my way of relaxing. For the first time PC came through with actually fitting all of us with appropriate sites. They surprised us when they told us today. It wasn’t supposed to be until tomorrow. Richard says I have one of the best sites-he says it is beautiful. Oh, I am so happy. I will be doing school health promotions and record keeping-again very fitting for me.
Ok-my headache is back in full force. I went to the doc today and he gave me prescription IB profen-it helped but it has worn off and so took Tylenol PM. They know my head hurts so that have been silent-thank god!
Oh Joe is going to Atouro (the island)
Randy to Baucau (the LA of ET)
TC to Tibar (30 inutes west of Dili-the slumps that flood)
I am closest to Mike and Ally so I am super excited!
Ok-my headache is back in full force. I went to the doc today and he gave me prescription IB profen-it helped but it has worn off and so took Tylenol PM. They know my head hurts so that have been silent-thank god!
Oh Joe is going to Atouro (the island)
Randy to Baucau (the LA of ET)
TC to Tibar (30 inutes west of Dili-the slumps that flood)
I am closest to Mike and Ally so I am super excited!
August 16, 2005
18:57 So journal #3 begins. I so can’t wait to read these later in life!
We are all going through a pissy phase right now. I think that we are all feeding off of each other and though we are not 100% serious we are talking about going home. Of course this isn’t going to happen, but it is the front of my mind. I feel as if I have hit a wall, the first of many. My thinking is: why be so far away from everything and everybody I love when I can help just as much (if not more) while being closer to those things? I know I can and will help here-I know I don’t want to give up. I know a wonderful life will be in both places-different but wonderful. I have to remember the one child thing. But can’t I do that at home?
These feelings come in such distinct waves. Sometimes I feel so happy that I am here and so right, then other times I doubt my decision to leave. I know when I complete this it will be my biggest accomplishment in my life. That keeps me going. My pride has gotten in the way. It is keeping me here. I want to help but also I can’t give up. As we talked about before I left-I would regret every day if I gave up. But how do I know I won’t regret every day I am not in the states. I have such a homebodiness in me-I have a sense of adventure but I also just love being home. I don’t feel at home yet here-I know this will take time but I want that comfort feeling and I am so far removed from that and will be for such a long time that it scares me. And then I have to go through it all over again when I get home.
Ah-I know this will pass. I bet as soon as I get my site assignment in two days, I will feel better once I know where I will be-I feel so helpless and stagnant right now. I still keep my head high and keep observing and keep learning. If I go home today I will come back a better person, If I go home in two years I will be a better person also. I just can’t think to much…it is big circle and my head hurts
We are all going through a pissy phase right now. I think that we are all feeding off of each other and though we are not 100% serious we are talking about going home. Of course this isn’t going to happen, but it is the front of my mind. I feel as if I have hit a wall, the first of many. My thinking is: why be so far away from everything and everybody I love when I can help just as much (if not more) while being closer to those things? I know I can and will help here-I know I don’t want to give up. I know a wonderful life will be in both places-different but wonderful. I have to remember the one child thing. But can’t I do that at home?
These feelings come in such distinct waves. Sometimes I feel so happy that I am here and so right, then other times I doubt my decision to leave. I know when I complete this it will be my biggest accomplishment in my life. That keeps me going. My pride has gotten in the way. It is keeping me here. I want to help but also I can’t give up. As we talked about before I left-I would regret every day if I gave up. But how do I know I won’t regret every day I am not in the states. I have such a homebodiness in me-I have a sense of adventure but I also just love being home. I don’t feel at home yet here-I know this will take time but I want that comfort feeling and I am so far removed from that and will be for such a long time that it scares me. And then I have to go through it all over again when I get home.
Ah-I know this will pass. I bet as soon as I get my site assignment in two days, I will feel better once I know where I will be-I feel so helpless and stagnant right now. I still keep my head high and keep observing and keep learning. If I go home today I will come back a better person, If I go home in two years I will be a better person also. I just can’t think to much…it is big circle and my head hurts
August 15, 2005
I forgot to write about something, so before the festa the other day we had to go to the cemetery to do something for the dead person who the fest was for. Well, on the way there was another funeral procession. A child had died and they were burying them. We were early to the cemetery so we joined the child’s funeral first. The casket was so small, I have never seen something like that before. I didn’t cry then but I cry now thinking about it. After they buried the child they covered the grave with pink and red flowers, put a cross on top and also about 200 candles. It was so powerful. I didn’t have my camera but the image is burned in my head. The lights and the flowers in the dark was one of the prettiest yet saddest things I have ever seen. It was a reality check for me-an eye opener, somebody’s baby is dead, a mother lost her baby. I can’t imagine, I don’t want to imagine-but that the reality here. And if I indirectly or directly prevent one mother from losing her baby-I can’t tell you how happy I will be. That will be my reward-that’s why I’m here. That little life didn’t need to be buried beneath the flowers and candles, I would have rather not seen it, it not to have happened. I don’t know why he/she died but it probably could have been prevented.
I am glad I saw it because it put why I’m here in focus. When I close my eyes I see the grave and I know why I’m here.
I am almost done with this journal. Things sure have changed from when I started it!
Op…electricity just went out. I hope they will be quiet now. They’ve stopped being considerate when I try to sleep.
Off to bed now, time for my IPOD to get me to go to sleep.
They have started calling me biin Lisa (sister Lisa). I will miss them, not the crying kids and rosters though.
I am glad I saw it because it put why I’m here in focus. When I close my eyes I see the grave and I know why I’m here.
I am almost done with this journal. Things sure have changed from when I started it!
Op…electricity just went out. I hope they will be quiet now. They’ve stopped being considerate when I try to sleep.
Off to bed now, time for my IPOD to get me to go to sleep.
They have started calling me biin Lisa (sister Lisa). I will miss them, not the crying kids and rosters though.
August 14, 2005
7:36 pm
Yes, I am already in bed. I don’t have a life here. I am exhausted. Today the #$@#$ roosters were horribly loud. We went to church 2 hours early (I don’t know why). We stood outside the whole service because there were too many people. We had to eat at the church cause the bishop was there and we are celebrities so we have/get to eat with him. We got home and I was pooped-I tried to sleep but between the kids screaming, dogs barking and $@%#$% chickens, I couldn’t (I’m not bitter!) At 3 we went and played volleyball again. I suck but it is so much fun. We came home around 6 and I talked with Anto. She says randy runs and talks like a girl. She won’t stop making fn of him-I love it! Now am here in bed and ready to crash!
I still need to write about the festa last night. The guys there were gross and drunk and rude. I said no to dancing with all of them. I had moved my ring over to my wedding ring finger so I just showed them that if they asked. The dancing is seriously like 7th grade. I is just one guy and one girl dancing the 2 step. They scatter the INSTANT the song is over. You can’t dance with the same person twice otherwise you are planning on marrying them. When we (a bunch of PC people) did dance they cheered and thought it was great.
Yes, I am already in bed. I don’t have a life here. I am exhausted. Today the #$@#$ roosters were horribly loud. We went to church 2 hours early (I don’t know why). We stood outside the whole service because there were too many people. We had to eat at the church cause the bishop was there and we are celebrities so we have/get to eat with him. We got home and I was pooped-I tried to sleep but between the kids screaming, dogs barking and $@%#$% chickens, I couldn’t (I’m not bitter!) At 3 we went and played volleyball again. I suck but it is so much fun. We came home around 6 and I talked with Anto. She says randy runs and talks like a girl. She won’t stop making fn of him-I love it! Now am here in bed and ready to crash!
I still need to write about the festa last night. The guys there were gross and drunk and rude. I said no to dancing with all of them. I had moved my ring over to my wedding ring finger so I just showed them that if they asked. The dancing is seriously like 7th grade. I is just one guy and one girl dancing the 2 step. They scatter the INSTANT the song is over. You can’t dance with the same person twice otherwise you are planning on marrying them. When we (a bunch of PC people) did dance they cheered and thought it was great.
August 13, 2005
6:10 pm. So tonight we are going to a party so I am writing now because who knows when I will be back. It is one year after the person died and they dance all night. I am excited to go, should be an interesting experience. Today we worked on our health fair project then came home-ate, did laundry, then played volleyball. It was super fun. My arms hurt now. We came home via 7-11 (the kiosk with cold sodas), they make good money off of us. Now I am sitting next to my host mom while she cuts beans and Christina Aguilera-Stronger, is playing in the house next door. Now it is playing Justin Timberlake, Senorita! I swear it is so surreal to be here and hearing that. Earlier they were playing Ice Ice Baby. I wore my 1st tank top today! I am trying to get rid of my farmer’s tan!
I am watching a mother hen with about 6 tiny chicks-they are sooo little, they have the hen tied up so the chicks don’t wonder off. It’s sad but cute. They are seriously less than 2 inches big.
Oh, so the baby burnt her finger today, their remedy- a birds wing-just the wing and feathers, bright green at that. I don’t know where it came from and I didn’t ask.
Well off to the festa!
11:39pm. Wow I haven’t been up this late in a long time. The festa was fun. I will describe its awkwardness tomorrow!
I am watching a mother hen with about 6 tiny chicks-they are sooo little, they have the hen tied up so the chicks don’t wonder off. It’s sad but cute. They are seriously less than 2 inches big.
Oh, so the baby burnt her finger today, their remedy- a birds wing-just the wing and feathers, bright green at that. I don’t know where it came from and I didn’t ask.
Well off to the festa!
11:39pm. Wow I haven’t been up this late in a long time. The festa was fun. I will describe its awkwardness tomorrow!
August 12, 2005
9PM
My brain is fried so this isn’t going to be long.
After class I got my anger and frustration out by working out with Jessica, Randy, Dustin, Victor and a bunch of kids. Jessica plans the work outs, she kicks my butt. I will be so sore tomorrow. Then we came home and played volleyball-super fun.
Oh, the lady I interviewed before came and talked and brought us cookies-homemade-SO GOOD!
I had a long test today, who knows how it went…
I helped cook for a little bit-I can’t stay in the kitchen too long cause the smoke hurts my eyes too much.
My brain is fried so this isn’t going to be long.
After class I got my anger and frustration out by working out with Jessica, Randy, Dustin, Victor and a bunch of kids. Jessica plans the work outs, she kicks my butt. I will be so sore tomorrow. Then we came home and played volleyball-super fun.
Oh, the lady I interviewed before came and talked and brought us cookies-homemade-SO GOOD!
I had a long test today, who knows how it went…
I helped cook for a little bit-I can’t stay in the kitchen too long cause the smoke hurts my eyes too much.
August 11, 2005
So my day was pretty good. I slept ok but for some reason woke up totally fatigued but I listened to some Graceland and that helped wake me up. I decided today would be a good day. So we had language class. I was supposed to get tested but they ran out of time. I had Mina as a teacher and she was SO much better. I told Nelson that I don’t want to have Sallus anymore. I feel bad but I need to learn Tetun. So after lunch we had 2 guest speakers. One was a guy who works for UNFPA (UN Family Planning Agency). It totally interests me. They work on population control via family planning. This country needs it SO BAD. There is an average of 7.8 kids per woman here- the highest in the world. They are going to distribute condoms to all clinics-I want to look into networking with them.
After that we had Nelson (the training directory) come and talk to us. The day before they had s fill out an evaluation and we all just let lose. It was constructive but harsh. I can tell you, I took about 1 hour to fill this out and I didn’t hold anything back.. They need to know!
So we came home, we stopped at a kiosk and had a cold soda. So we came home. I showered then there was a volleyball game happening. There was a kid’s game and a teenager game. TC and I joined the Teenager game until it got dark. I came in and talked with Antonia. My Tetun is coming along. I played a lot with the baby. Also Randy’s sister (Deonesia) is so cute. She s almost 2 and speaks in such a high voice-she cracks me up. She does this thing where she tenses her whole body and bugs her eyes out. I laugh so hard when I see her do that
After that we had Nelson (the training directory) come and talk to us. The day before they had s fill out an evaluation and we all just let lose. It was constructive but harsh. I can tell you, I took about 1 hour to fill this out and I didn’t hold anything back.. They need to know!
So we came home, we stopped at a kiosk and had a cold soda. So we came home. I showered then there was a volleyball game happening. There was a kid’s game and a teenager game. TC and I joined the Teenager game until it got dark. I came in and talked with Antonia. My Tetun is coming along. I played a lot with the baby. Also Randy’s sister (Deonesia) is so cute. She s almost 2 and speaks in such a high voice-she cracks me up. She does this thing where she tenses her whole body and bugs her eyes out. I laugh so hard when I see her do that
Monday, August 9, 2010
August 9, 2005
I gave in today and let my host family wash my clothes. I had nothing clean and no time. I don’t want to get in the habit though.
In the morning we did a role play of a meeting. I realized my Tetun sucks so I studied quite a bit tonight. We had a speaker from UNICEF. She was awesome. There are so many opportunities. She is super young and the head of health at UNICEF. She was a PCV in Morocco from 1996-1998. It is encouraging to see her. She went back and got her MPH. I need to figure out what tests I need to take to get into grad school.
Oh, also today about 5 of us worked out. My stomach is sore now but I feel god. I got all bit up from the hotel room-we think bed bugs, the bites hurt more than itch
Training is half way over tomorrow!
Oh, the crazy guy came back last night and my host mom hit him in the head and made his ears bleed!
In the morning we did a role play of a meeting. I realized my Tetun sucks so I studied quite a bit tonight. We had a speaker from UNICEF. She was awesome. There are so many opportunities. She is super young and the head of health at UNICEF. She was a PCV in Morocco from 1996-1998. It is encouraging to see her. She went back and got her MPH. I need to figure out what tests I need to take to get into grad school.
Oh, also today about 5 of us worked out. My stomach is sore now but I feel god. I got all bit up from the hotel room-we think bed bugs, the bites hurt more than itch
Training is half way over tomorrow!
Oh, the crazy guy came back last night and my host mom hit him in the head and made his ears bleed!
August 8, 2005
“Adapt to a certain point but don’t lose your personality. Defeats the purpose of being there”
So we got back into Dili around 4:30. That was after the ride down from Laclubar. Ok mental memory: 30 people sitting on top of each other, our bags (big bags) in the middle of the truck bed, a goat with its feet tied together beneath the bench where Sash is sitting, a baby with a VERY queasy look on his face. We get going and Emily says that on every anguna ride one person/child vomits. She said that the baby would puke. The anguna doesn’t go faster than 20 mph so I don’t believe her.. At one point 10 of the guys got off and hat to rn p the hill because the anguna couldn’t make it. Oh, I forgot one of the best parts, the gay guy: he had his nails painted, this black and gold head piece on and his voice was an octave higher than it should be. We know it as forced because every so often he would laugh and it would be an octave down from his voice. He seriously sounded like Elmo. Oh, and the goat made human like crying sounds every so often. I felt so bad but couldn’t help but laugh. So we bumped and bounced around the corners for 3 good long hours. About 2 hours into the ride the baby started to cough. Well it wasn’t just a cough. He puked all over Mike’s bag and some other ladies bag. Yes it was gross but there was nothing to do but laugh. Back to the goat. Of course, animals have to pee-well it got all over Mike and Sash’s feet. It was seriously so gross that all we could do was laugh (again). We got to Manatuto and decided to get off the anguna and try to hitch-hike. Well we walked up the street and found Randy, Emily, and Annie also waiting for a ride. We waited about 30 minutes and no ride came. To our embarrassment the SAME anguna drove by and stopped and got us. We were of course laughing. So about 1.5 hours more of goat crying and peeing (thank god the baby had gotten off) we get into Dili and are famished. So we go to One More Bar (a Malae bar). We get pizza and fries-so yummy!
At this point we head back to the PC office and are going to catch a taxi home. It is dark and the taxi would be like $10 and we would need 2. As we are walking to find it we see Joe and Jay (the creepy guy). We talk to them and find out Nelson (the training director) gave them and about 5 others permission to stay the night. We are like what?!?! So we call Nelson because we had ran into him about 20 minutes before and he didn’t say anything about staying the night. But he let us when we called him. We then called Alfonso who tells our families that we won’t be home.
The next morning we had to be at the PC office at 7am. We headed back to Balibar and had a 2 hour debrief session. Then we had to head back down to Dili to interview NGOs. I went with Alfonso to the only psychological facility in ET. It was very interesting for me. I am going to try to arrange something on my own to work with them. We come back to the office and a lady from CARE came and spoke to us. It is so encouraging to hear form other people. I know I can make this my experience.
Today I also had my interview with Richard, the APCD. He is basically my boss. He told me with some certainty that I will be going to a beach site. I am so excited to find out where I will be going. We all are and there is a lot of gossip about it.
After my meeting we took a taxi to the anguna station and hoped on another anguna. Well about 10 minutes from my house it started pouring! And who was in a white t-shirt, me! I was successful at keeping myself covered. I ran home and that was when I felt “it” The last few days were so chaotic and adventurous and n but I as so glad to be “home.” Joe’s host kids were screaming my name, the baby smiled when she saw me, I taught her to play peek-a-boo. I just sat and “talked” to Anto and Ama. They were all so happy to see me and talk to me. It felt so good. I had not had this feeling yet. It was great. Again, I just having this feeling of this is where I need to be.
I know also why I am so happy. I heard Bon Jovi TWICE today and the taxi driver was wearing a Bon Jovi t-shirt!
So we got back into Dili around 4:30. That was after the ride down from Laclubar. Ok mental memory: 30 people sitting on top of each other, our bags (big bags) in the middle of the truck bed, a goat with its feet tied together beneath the bench where Sash is sitting, a baby with a VERY queasy look on his face. We get going and Emily says that on every anguna ride one person/child vomits. She said that the baby would puke. The anguna doesn’t go faster than 20 mph so I don’t believe her.. At one point 10 of the guys got off and hat to rn p the hill because the anguna couldn’t make it. Oh, I forgot one of the best parts, the gay guy: he had his nails painted, this black and gold head piece on and his voice was an octave higher than it should be. We know it as forced because every so often he would laugh and it would be an octave down from his voice. He seriously sounded like Elmo. Oh, and the goat made human like crying sounds every so often. I felt so bad but couldn’t help but laugh. So we bumped and bounced around the corners for 3 good long hours. About 2 hours into the ride the baby started to cough. Well it wasn’t just a cough. He puked all over Mike’s bag and some other ladies bag. Yes it was gross but there was nothing to do but laugh. Back to the goat. Of course, animals have to pee-well it got all over Mike and Sash’s feet. It was seriously so gross that all we could do was laugh (again). We got to Manatuto and decided to get off the anguna and try to hitch-hike. Well we walked up the street and found Randy, Emily, and Annie also waiting for a ride. We waited about 30 minutes and no ride came. To our embarrassment the SAME anguna drove by and stopped and got us. We were of course laughing. So about 1.5 hours more of goat crying and peeing (thank god the baby had gotten off) we get into Dili and are famished. So we go to One More Bar (a Malae bar). We get pizza and fries-so yummy!
At this point we head back to the PC office and are going to catch a taxi home. It is dark and the taxi would be like $10 and we would need 2. As we are walking to find it we see Joe and Jay (the creepy guy). We talk to them and find out Nelson (the training director) gave them and about 5 others permission to stay the night. We are like what?!?! So we call Nelson because we had ran into him about 20 minutes before and he didn’t say anything about staying the night. But he let us when we called him. We then called Alfonso who tells our families that we won’t be home.
The next morning we had to be at the PC office at 7am. We headed back to Balibar and had a 2 hour debrief session. Then we had to head back down to Dili to interview NGOs. I went with Alfonso to the only psychological facility in ET. It was very interesting for me. I am going to try to arrange something on my own to work with them. We come back to the office and a lady from CARE came and spoke to us. It is so encouraging to hear form other people. I know I can make this my experience.
Today I also had my interview with Richard, the APCD. He is basically my boss. He told me with some certainty that I will be going to a beach site. I am so excited to find out where I will be going. We all are and there is a lot of gossip about it.
After my meeting we took a taxi to the anguna station and hoped on another anguna. Well about 10 minutes from my house it started pouring! And who was in a white t-shirt, me! I was successful at keeping myself covered. I ran home and that was when I felt “it” The last few days were so chaotic and adventurous and n but I as so glad to be “home.” Joe’s host kids were screaming my name, the baby smiled when she saw me, I taught her to play peek-a-boo. I just sat and “talked” to Anto and Ama. They were all so happy to see me and talk to me. It felt so good. I had not had this feeling yet. It was great. Again, I just having this feeling of this is where I need to be.
I know also why I am so happy. I heard Bon Jovi TWICE today and the taxi driver was wearing a Bon Jovi t-shirt!
August 6, 2005
9:15 AM
It is a beautiful morning here. The sky is vibrant baby blue with no clouds. The sun is warm but not intense. I am sitting on a front step surrounded by beautiful green plants o all different sizes. Every few seconds I here roosters crow (I have come to strongly dislike them and want them to shut-up). I am so lucky-lucky to be here. Seeing the smiling faces feeling the sun beat down on me, it is just so amazing. I want to paint a picture with words so that years later I can remember this feeling. It smells like dirt but not bad dirt, it is earthy. Straight ahead of me is a small white house, with its door open, it has a tin roof and two windows. It is simple but nice. In front of the house there is a small dirt road with pot holes and rocks. Then moving closer to me is a wood fence with an opening directly in front of me. There is a train that leads to the step where I am sitting. There is a tree with magenta flowers and small green leafy plants. A young girl is holding a baby boy who just looks at me and smiles. He is giggling now. He is so happy. Everybody who walks by is so happy. They all smile and say “Bondia.” I can’t speak with them but saying “bondia” is enough. The smile is enough. To the right of where I sit there is a bunch of trees-is is very shady and foresty looking. There is also a random satellite dish. There are palm trees every so often. The natural green has become my new favorite color. They path leads straight up to the house and the step where I am sitting. I am here, ready to make a change, ready to make my small contribution to the world that has been so good to me. It is much more clear now. My place in the world is definite. I want to help, I am going to help.
Same day 9:46 pm.
Today was another wonderful day in ET. After I wrote the previous entry we just sat around and talked. Megan went to Rice (where Lila is going). Talking about Lila really made me realize how much she means to me. She is a wonderful person and I know she looks up to me a lot and I really haven’t ever had that before.
Around 10:30 the rest of the Malaes (Ally, Mike, Sash, and Emily) came over and we walked to Emily’s project. She got a grant through PC to help the mission here fix up a building for a library, reading room, restaurant, and art center. It is a really beautiful facility. After that we shopped at the kiosk and then came back to Megan’s. We made (from scratch) tortillas. They were so easy and turned out SO good. When the tortillas were done we went back to Emily’s and cooked some more. We made tacos and they were soooo good. She made a green bean with peanut dish and then tomatoes and onions AND WE HAD CHEESE! They were SO delicious and I would rank it as one of the best things I have EVER eaten (I feel like I keep saying that about every meal we make together!) So after the meal we were really tired and satisfied. We just sat around some more and then walked/hiked to Emily’s friend’s house. It was about 15 minutes of up and down hills, not super hard but just hard enough. We got there and her friend Adalina (I like that name) was so sweet. She is 23 and has a 1 year old baby boy. She is beautiful and the baby is one of the cutest kids I’ve every seen. Her mom invited us into her house. It was a house that is on stilts. We sat up there and she showed us the tais (the traditional woven fabric) that she is making for Emily. Sash wanted to see how the mom made the tais so she took it down and showed us. She hooks herself in and somehow weaves the thread through-I took pictures because it is hard to explain. So we just hung out and talked until around 6 then we had to head back. The walk back was probably my best experience thus far. We started off with just us and Adalina and a couple kids. As we walked on-more and more kids joined us. They were a riot! We would make grunting noises at them and they would do the same back. It was hilarious. Every so often Sash would turn around and start to chase them. They loved it. Eventually we taught them high-5 and the rock. By the time we said goodbye there were about 30 kids all trying to give us high 5 and grunting at us. I know they want s to doing something “sustainable” but I feel that just that walk home had a significant impact on those kids. Just playing with them showed them that foreigners are good. I am so happy. Anyway we made it back and good a good soup (we were still all pretty full from our WONDERFUL lunch)
Megan made this dessert and my stomach is paying now. It is called brigadero-it is just sweetened condensed milk that you heat up and it becomes caramelized. She put chocolate and cinnamon in it. So good but now my tummy is doing flips. Then we did the dishes and walked back to Megan’s.
We go back to Balibar tomorrow. I don’t want to go. I had so much fun here. I feel very lucky to have been placed with the volunteers I was placed with. I feel so right with everything here and this truly is the first time I’ve felt this ay. It is really an amazing feeling to be living my dream. I wanted to see and experience a world different from my own and I set my mind to it-now here I am. Wow-just having this totally happy revelation about living my dream right now!
It is a beautiful morning here. The sky is vibrant baby blue with no clouds. The sun is warm but not intense. I am sitting on a front step surrounded by beautiful green plants o all different sizes. Every few seconds I here roosters crow (I have come to strongly dislike them and want them to shut-up). I am so lucky-lucky to be here. Seeing the smiling faces feeling the sun beat down on me, it is just so amazing. I want to paint a picture with words so that years later I can remember this feeling. It smells like dirt but not bad dirt, it is earthy. Straight ahead of me is a small white house, with its door open, it has a tin roof and two windows. It is simple but nice. In front of the house there is a small dirt road with pot holes and rocks. Then moving closer to me is a wood fence with an opening directly in front of me. There is a train that leads to the step where I am sitting. There is a tree with magenta flowers and small green leafy plants. A young girl is holding a baby boy who just looks at me and smiles. He is giggling now. He is so happy. Everybody who walks by is so happy. They all smile and say “Bondia.” I can’t speak with them but saying “bondia” is enough. The smile is enough. To the right of where I sit there is a bunch of trees-is is very shady and foresty looking. There is also a random satellite dish. There are palm trees every so often. The natural green has become my new favorite color. They path leads straight up to the house and the step where I am sitting. I am here, ready to make a change, ready to make my small contribution to the world that has been so good to me. It is much more clear now. My place in the world is definite. I want to help, I am going to help.
Same day 9:46 pm.
Today was another wonderful day in ET. After I wrote the previous entry we just sat around and talked. Megan went to Rice (where Lila is going). Talking about Lila really made me realize how much she means to me. She is a wonderful person and I know she looks up to me a lot and I really haven’t ever had that before.
Around 10:30 the rest of the Malaes (Ally, Mike, Sash, and Emily) came over and we walked to Emily’s project. She got a grant through PC to help the mission here fix up a building for a library, reading room, restaurant, and art center. It is a really beautiful facility. After that we shopped at the kiosk and then came back to Megan’s. We made (from scratch) tortillas. They were so easy and turned out SO good. When the tortillas were done we went back to Emily’s and cooked some more. We made tacos and they were soooo good. She made a green bean with peanut dish and then tomatoes and onions AND WE HAD CHEESE! They were SO delicious and I would rank it as one of the best things I have EVER eaten (I feel like I keep saying that about every meal we make together!) So after the meal we were really tired and satisfied. We just sat around some more and then walked/hiked to Emily’s friend’s house. It was about 15 minutes of up and down hills, not super hard but just hard enough. We got there and her friend Adalina (I like that name) was so sweet. She is 23 and has a 1 year old baby boy. She is beautiful and the baby is one of the cutest kids I’ve every seen. Her mom invited us into her house. It was a house that is on stilts. We sat up there and she showed us the tais (the traditional woven fabric) that she is making for Emily. Sash wanted to see how the mom made the tais so she took it down and showed us. She hooks herself in and somehow weaves the thread through-I took pictures because it is hard to explain. So we just hung out and talked until around 6 then we had to head back. The walk back was probably my best experience thus far. We started off with just us and Adalina and a couple kids. As we walked on-more and more kids joined us. They were a riot! We would make grunting noises at them and they would do the same back. It was hilarious. Every so often Sash would turn around and start to chase them. They loved it. Eventually we taught them high-5 and the rock. By the time we said goodbye there were about 30 kids all trying to give us high 5 and grunting at us. I know they want s to doing something “sustainable” but I feel that just that walk home had a significant impact on those kids. Just playing with them showed them that foreigners are good. I am so happy. Anyway we made it back and good a good soup (we were still all pretty full from our WONDERFUL lunch)
Megan made this dessert and my stomach is paying now. It is called brigadero-it is just sweetened condensed milk that you heat up and it becomes caramelized. She put chocolate and cinnamon in it. So good but now my tummy is doing flips. Then we did the dishes and walked back to Megan’s.
We go back to Balibar tomorrow. I don’t want to go. I had so much fun here. I feel very lucky to have been placed with the volunteers I was placed with. I feel so right with everything here and this truly is the first time I’ve felt this ay. It is really an amazing feeling to be living my dream. I wanted to see and experience a world different from my own and I set my mind to it-now here I am. Wow-just having this totally happy revelation about living my dream right now!
Thursday, August 5, 2010
August 5, 2005
We did nothing today except walk, cook, talk, and eat. Seriously I hvaen’t eaten this much since I Have been here. Emily made this fabulous soup with carrots, sweet potatoes, beans, mushrooms, and green stuff. It was delicious! So we ate that for lunch and dinner. And for breakfast we made pancakes with Nutella!!!
I swear I haven’t laughed this much in a long time. I am having such a wonderful time. They are all such a wonderful support for me and I Have never felt more at ease and more myself around a group of people.
I swear I haven’t laughed this much in a long time. I am having such a wonderful time. They are all such a wonderful support for me and I Have never felt more at ease and more myself around a group of people.
August 4, 2005
So we made it to our volunteer site visit. I am with Jessica at a PCV named Megan’s house right in the middle of Timor. We are up in the mountains and it is beautiful. We really haven’t explored the village yet but its gorgeous so far. The Land Cruiser we took here sure had to work hard! The roads are horrible! The driver was wonderful (he works for Peace Corps and it seems like all he does is drive). The only issue I had was the seats in the car are two benches facing each other so I got kind of car sick. It was SOOOO bumpy!!! It took about 4 hours-we stopped in Manatuto to have lunch then headed the rest of the way up the mountains. There are 5 of us here staying with 2 volunteers. Sash, Mike, and Ally are with Emily and Jessica and I are down the hill with Megan. For dinner we cooked spaghetti and bread. It was so good! Emily lives kind of on her own, it’s a really cool set up. She has her own living quarters in front of a family that lives separate in the back. She cooks for herself. Megan lives with a family but she cooks for herself. It’s so inspiring to see what they are actually doing and how they are living.
We also had chocolate cake, OH MY GOD!!!! I didn’t realize how much I missed chocolate till tonight! After cake we just sat around and talked a till about 9:45 when we walked back to Megan’s house.
We also got to eat Doritos today!!!
We also had chocolate cake, OH MY GOD!!!! I didn’t realize how much I missed chocolate till tonight! After cake we just sat around and talked a till about 9:45 when we walked back to Megan’s house.
We also got to eat Doritos today!!!
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
August 3, 2005
Dr. Bill’s Stress Talk
“You are exactly where you are supposed to be to learn the lessons you are supposed to learn” Dr. Bill
Learn to enjoy the ride-humor.
You will learn it or not learn it but it will keep coming up until you learn it.
Learn to accept your limitations, strengths, weaknesses
Accept that change is slow
Balance work and play
Don’t let problems add up
Difficulties spare no one
Unhook your self from things in the past-don’t need to drag it around with you.
We have the time now to deal with it all
Accept what you cannont change (which is just about everything)
One child…is that worth my two years?
Live for the day.
“If I knew better, I wouldn’t change a thing” Train, Swaying
I am much better today. I had a good cry last night. I talked to Randy for a little bit and then today the doctor gave a talk and it was exactly what I needed to hear. The previous page are some of what he said. I particularly love the first quote. It is so true. There is nothing given to me in life that I can’t handle. Things will be hard but that doesn’t mean I can’t handle them.
“You are exactly where you are supposed to be to learn the lessons you are supposed to learn” Dr. Bill
Learn to enjoy the ride-humor.
You will learn it or not learn it but it will keep coming up until you learn it.
Learn to accept your limitations, strengths, weaknesses
Accept that change is slow
Balance work and play
Don’t let problems add up
Difficulties spare no one
Unhook your self from things in the past-don’t need to drag it around with you.
We have the time now to deal with it all
Accept what you cannont change (which is just about everything)
One child…is that worth my two years?
Live for the day.
“If I knew better, I wouldn’t change a thing” Train, Swaying
I am much better today. I had a good cry last night. I talked to Randy for a little bit and then today the doctor gave a talk and it was exactly what I needed to hear. The previous page are some of what he said. I particularly love the first quote. It is so true. There is nothing given to me in life that I can’t handle. Things will be hard but that doesn’t mean I can’t handle them.
Monday, August 2, 2010
August 1, 2005
Today has been a little rough. I am starting to feel the homesickness really kick in. On top of being homesick dealing with Peace Corps is sometimes frustrating. It really helps to have the other volunteers to talk to though. Randy and I talked this evening and it just helped to vent to him. After we had dinner and talked we played the longest game of UNO. On top of it being a very long game, blue and green are really hard to tell apart when you are playing by candle light. It ended up being a draw game with no one winning.
July 31, 2005
Ok! So I am going to write like the moving Momento…from the end of my day to the beginning.
I am safe in my bed after having taken my first Whippy bath because it is raining HARD and it was “way” to late when we got home (7:30 pm). But of course before I go to bed I always use the santina. Well there was a spider about the size of my palm waiting for me when I went to the santina. I promptly got Anto who promptly smooshed it with her shoe. This happened right after Randy and I had a cold dinner (which we are probably going to get sick from) by candle light because the electricity went ot 5 minutes after we got home. We all made it down the muddy slope without falling on our bums. This was after exiting the over crowded microlet (small van) where I was squashed in the back corner. The microlet had problems it had to stop about 4 times and did not always want to start again, but it did and thank goodness because when the car wasn’t in motion the stench of body odor as almost too much for me to handle. We were lucky enough to even get the microlet after my fierce host mom kicked 4 people out of the way for us and bargained the price down from $1 to $.50 per person. She also shewed a drunk guy away from us and wouldn’t let anyone come within 5 feet of us. We had waiting for about 1.5 hours for a car to come and while waiting we ran into my host mom and TC’s host mom at the bus station (it may have actually been easier had we not ran into them because we would of just taken a taxi but they refused). They were in town visiting Randy’s mom who is at Dili National Hospital because she is sick but I can’t figure out what she has. We think it is bad though because the family seems really sad.
I am actually kid of scared right- the spider and the rain and the microlet ride-this truly is a Peace Corps experience. I am going to try to sleep but my nerves are going so I don’t know if it will happen
I am safe in my bed after having taken my first Whippy bath because it is raining HARD and it was “way” to late when we got home (7:30 pm). But of course before I go to bed I always use the santina. Well there was a spider about the size of my palm waiting for me when I went to the santina. I promptly got Anto who promptly smooshed it with her shoe. This happened right after Randy and I had a cold dinner (which we are probably going to get sick from) by candle light because the electricity went ot 5 minutes after we got home. We all made it down the muddy slope without falling on our bums. This was after exiting the over crowded microlet (small van) where I was squashed in the back corner. The microlet had problems it had to stop about 4 times and did not always want to start again, but it did and thank goodness because when the car wasn’t in motion the stench of body odor as almost too much for me to handle. We were lucky enough to even get the microlet after my fierce host mom kicked 4 people out of the way for us and bargained the price down from $1 to $.50 per person. She also shewed a drunk guy away from us and wouldn’t let anyone come within 5 feet of us. We had waiting for about 1.5 hours for a car to come and while waiting we ran into my host mom and TC’s host mom at the bus station (it may have actually been easier had we not ran into them because we would of just taken a taxi but they refused). They were in town visiting Randy’s mom who is at Dili National Hospital because she is sick but I can’t figure out what she has. We think it is bad though because the family seems really sad.
I am actually kid of scared right- the spider and the rain and the microlet ride-this truly is a Peace Corps experience. I am going to try to sleep but my nerves are going so I don’t know if it will happen
July 30, 2005
My pen ran out last night and there was no electricity so I couldn’t write anymore. So back to yesterday. It was just such a relief to talk to other organizations aside from PC to get a feel for what’s happening here. I am excited to get my post but I am also excited to figure out what I can do on my own. I have so many ideas. It will be a challenge to make them come true but so worth it. Off to language class.
So I did my laundry today and then deskansed (rested). Then we cooked spaghetti for our families and played UNO with them. The pasta was a he success. They loved it! The hardest part was convincing them that we DID NOT have to eat rice with the pasta. It was such a foreign concept to them. The other hard thing to get across was that we all eat together. We served them first and they didn’t know what to do. Then UNO went well. Funny story- to say “pick up cards” in Tetun, the word is “dada” Randy kept saying “tata” instead and that means "eat" in Tetun, everyone got a kick out of that mix up!
I am starting to get closer to my host family and neighbors. TC has a sister named Carmalita and she loves me and always sings with me. His other sister is Joahina, she is probably 12 and super into UNO, it is cute. They love that we are there Malaes.
So I did my laundry today and then deskansed (rested). Then we cooked spaghetti for our families and played UNO with them. The pasta was a he success. They loved it! The hardest part was convincing them that we DID NOT have to eat rice with the pasta. It was such a foreign concept to them. The other hard thing to get across was that we all eat together. We served them first and they didn’t know what to do. Then UNO went well. Funny story- to say “pick up cards” in Tetun, the word is “dada” Randy kept saying “tata” instead and that means "eat" in Tetun, everyone got a kick out of that mix up!
I am starting to get closer to my host family and neighbors. TC has a sister named Carmalita and she loves me and always sings with me. His other sister is Joahina, she is probably 12 and super into UNO, it is cute. They love that we are there Malaes.
July 29, 2005
My day was actually really good. We went to Dili and I did 2 interviews with NGOs. I am so …
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